Sunday, 08.26.2012 - 4:40 pm.
Yesterday Andrew and I went to his parents' house for lunch. We hopped on a bus at noon and after an hour and a half we arrived to their town. We were supposed to leave earlier but we got up late and the bed was too comfortable. I'd gone to bed a little sad the night before so he promised me a nice breakfast and crossed the street to buy pastries and coffee. Then we showered and did private stuff, and headed to the bus station.
Andrew grew up (but wasn't born) in that small town so he told me stories of his childhood and we stopped by a small shop to say hi to someone. His mom was out of town, which I think was kind of a relief for him, and we only had lunch with his dad. I love his family, they're very kind and down to earth. We stayed with his dad for a few hours and then walked around town to catch a bus to get back.
Except we didn't ride the bus all the way back home, Andrew had another plan. We got off on the next town, some 30 minutes away. Andrew told me he used to take that ride everyday, in much less comfortable fashion, because he went to school there. In that town we walked around, he showed me his school and we stopped for french fries. I found a stray dog with the kindest soul, who stuck to me like a magnet as soon as I snapped my fingers in her direction. I dream of having a house and going back to rescue her.
Andrew had made a couple of sandwiches for the train ride, he kept looking forward to eating them ever since he was preparing them at his parents' house. But he offered to give the dog one of the sandwiches. I said no, I knew how much he wanted to eat them. But he did, he split it between that one dog and another. There were so many stray dogs, as it's usual in these small towns, and we were careful as to not attract any more.
I was sorry to leave this dog behind, but our train arrived. My first time riding a real train, across the countryside (I did take one once in New York, when I was a teenager and went to visit Brother #1 and his family). The sun was setting and it had been a beautiful day, the weather was perfect to be outside and everything went smoothly. Andrew had his sandwich and his satisfaction was priceless (it was a chicken sandwich and I refrain from eating meat as much as I can, but I took a bite and it was delicious, yes). We got home when it was dark and we were grinning.
The day before had been slightly pathetic, at least for me. It was friday and I had two patients, but the time he and I spent at home we were both at the table, facing each other but each on their own laptop. On top of it, he has his online game that keeps me him glued to the screen and mouse. He gave it up a few weeks ago because he thought he was obssessed and wasn't enjoying it anymore. I was really happy and proud, and relieved because every match is 45 minutes long and I can't talk to him while it's going on. But after a few days, he installed it again. I was very dissapointed.
I haven't said anything and I won't. It does make me a little sad that he returned to it but it's his hobby, and I don't want him to leave it because of me (that also made me happy when he quit, it was his own decision). So while I was too on the computer, working on my cases from the clinic and simultaneously wasting time, I could have cut it out if he'd asked me to. In his case, it all depends on his game. And also at night he was going to attend some small LAN party in an apartment nearby. I went to bed, burdened with my cases but also feeling very lonely. I'd spent half a day with him in front of me but it was like he wasn't there.
Last time I called home, he was playing his game and looked away from the screen to ask what was new in my house, with my mom and all. I answered him but something happened on his game at the same time and he started cursing. I was interrupted mid-sentence and then I just said I'd tell him when he was done. I went to lock myself in the bathroom and cried and cried.
I cried, first, because my cat Nena has been adopted by someone else, by my friend Virginia's aunt. Virginia had adopted her but her stupid neighbors didn't like Nena's presence and complained to kick her out. I was relieved that her aunt took my cat in and seemed to click with her right away, but giving her away also meant losing her.
I was overwhelmed with guilt and sadness over my cat. And then came the fear of losing my mom and the fear of my dad being alone, and how hard the treatment is on her, and how destroyed and agitated my dad sounds every time I talk to him. I was torn to pieces thinking all this. Andrew found me some time later and since his match had ended he was able to pay attention to me and comfort me, and finally I could tell him what was going on.
Andrew's a good guy, don't get me wrong. I do have my moments when I feel neglected by him but it goes away when he gets off his laptop. I think he noticed I was a little desperate on friday night and he would have stayed home instead of going to the LAN party if I'd asked him. But I went to bed and he was free to go. Then he made it up to me the next morning, yesterday, by getting a nice breakfast for us. And then we had our awesome trip, that we hope to repeat in october.
My mom has lost her hair due to chemo. She told me over the phone that everybody wanted my dog and cat out of the house because they shed hair everywhere and now she is shedding hers. And she laughed.
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