Thursday, 12.20.2012 - 12:19 pm.
I have some spare time right now so I'll write a little in here before I go home tomorrow. It's weird saying "I'm going home" now, because this is my home, too. Chile, with Andrew and our cats and the small town with unstable weather, and with the uncertainties as to what our life will be like come january.
But I mean, home. My home country. My parents, my siblings, my long-time friends. Nephew #2 has had a wonderful time here, I hope (eating, going out, hopping on buses and trains and being good friends with Andrew, yay!). We're both taking a plane to Santiago tomorrow night. We'll spend about six hours in the airport until the next plane takes off at 5 am on saturday. And I'll be hugging my family past noon.
I am so torn. I'm happy to go see my family, I'm extremely sad about leaving Andrew. And when I take the plane back home (adoptive home, I guess) on january 2nd, I'll say the same thing, except Andrew gets the happy and my family gets the sad. And hey, Andrew is my family, too! So I don't know how to approach this joy and heartache.
And traveling. It's not an alien thing to me anymore. I'm calm, I know the ways, I pack just the right amount of stuff. I still get nervous when the plane shakes for whatever reason but cognitive-behaviorism is my friend and I've learned to deal with flying. It's always better to have a buddy though, like I'll have Nephew #2 on friday night and saturday morning.
Let's not think about traveling back on january yet. Step by step. I still have over a day to live here and I'll enjoy iy with Andrew and Nephew #2. It's nice that Andrew says he'll miss my nephew, they got along so well. And Andrew sometimes begs me to come back and how will I not? Silly man.
(No "end of the world" commentary. That's bullshit. I do hope I'll make it home round-trip, as one always does when traveling).
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