10.03.2014 - 3:16 pm.
I have a lot of things to do, and lately when I'm overwhelmed, I turn to writing. It's worked out OK, it relaxes me. Oh, and it's been quite a few days since I last wrote in here, and october has come.
October. It means so much to me, or should I say, it used to? But then, because it used to, it still does, doesn't it? Anyway. It's about my childhood memories of finishing the school year, being on vacation, windy days with clear skies. I'd play and draw and watch TV all day long.
Then it was about wonderful (sometimes rainy) days while attending university, and feeling like I had the world at my feet. Then Joseph dumped me in october, on my graduation day, and for years these days were just gloomy, however beautiful. It's safe to say I was slightly traumatized, because of the way the break-up played out...and stretched for nearly six months.
That also changed since I moved here. It's not the beginning of chilly weather, something that may ressemble a poor man's winter, but the beggining of spring. Still not buying it. It doesn't beat the feelings I used to get when I was a young one. That's ok though, it doesn't have to. I'm quite content anyway.
October has begun and there's only one month and a half left for the wedding. It starts to feel real, it's a thing that is indeed going to happen. The planning is coming along and our increasing spending is ridiculous, as much as we've tried to keep it low key.
But I'm happy. I'm a little nervous because there is an structure to follow, and guests to entertain, but other than that, I take it calmly. At least on paper, it is shaping up to be a nice little event so of course I'm looking forward to it.
My closest friends are getting their invites though they're in my home country and can't make it. But I wish they were here. My friend Virginia's girlfriend sent me a message thanking me for the invitation. We've never met personally but we will someday; Virginia is one of my favorite people in the world and I'm happy she found her match. So anyway, I wish they were here. Among other friends whom I wish were here too for that day.
Also coming closer is the arrival of my parents, on november 7th. And Brother and SIL #1, and Brother and SIL #2 with kids, a week later. Hostel reservations are done and I will not plan much more but I have a few things in mind for the days they'll be here.
Andrew and I have switched jobs. We're both now working full time for our research project boss, aside from our teaching gigs (he and I at different universities). And that's amazing. I often think what a great boss she is, very hands-on and just...present, always there (and if she isn't there, she lets you know in advance). She's efficient, productive, answers e-mails quickly and is very clear about what she wants. It's a lot of work but it's great.
You know, I was actually coming in to say that the first day of october I thought a lot about Joseph, perhaps because the anniversary of the [initiation of] the break-up is coming up. But as you can tell, aside from ocassional and harmless thoughts, that come and go like clouds swept away by the wind*, I've moved on. I'm busy with my current life. I'm happy.
*That's a technique I read on my Dialectical Behavior Therapy workbook. I don't have borderline personality but many exercises in that book are pretty cool for personal growth.