Saturday, 05.21.2016 - 11:14 am.
Just a little update, as I'm using Andrew's laptop. Mine was sent away to be repaired. Nothing too serious, it seems, but it will be about two weeks before I get it back.
This week, I couldn't help remembering, was the anniversary of when Joseph and I started dating. On the 17th, 12 years ago!!! That day is described in this diary but I do not feel like revisiting it. It wasn't hard or anything, remembering this, but I did get a little melancholic from time to time throughout the day. Also, I was slightly angry about him not remembering at all. I take that as a fact, though I have no proof of it, but by now I don't think he cares at all. What's left for me is ego stuff, you see, so I'm mostly stung by being discarded and forgotten. There is always that tiny sense of what could have been, but it is swiftly replaced by what is. And what it is, is a wonderful life nonetheless.
This week was the postgraduate conference in the Psych department. It was thus a very long week, because I was the second to last of three whole days of presentations. I enjoyed it much more than I expected, though, meeting and hanging out with cool people with interesting research projects. I got a slight crush on a guy that presented the first day, and he asked me a question during the Q&A of my presentation the last day.
He also approached me after the conference to continue discussing an idea or two. I thought "YES, I STILL GOT IT!", because I remembered how it feels to be crushing on someone and then get their attention and have them come talk to you without you looking for it. I failed at that most of my life, I crushed hard on people in middle and high school (ok, by now that is not "most of my life") without experiencing anything mutual...until I got in my 20s and I got the guy, from Joseph to the few in between until Andrew. Obviously the guy from the conference was just discussing an idea we both had in common in each other's research, but I let my fantasy fly for a while.
However, this encounter also stirred the memory of May 17th, 2004, and kept me feeling even more accomplished (how did a guy like Joseph was even interested in me?) and melancholic for some time. But again, I have a life, and a loving husband, and many things to do, so I just nursed those memories and feelings for a while and carried on.
Speaking of carrying on, I have to return to cleaning up the house. The first visitor from the list I made in the last entry is coming in a couple of hours to stay with us for the weekend. That good old professor from Chile who accepted me in the master's program, bringing about a chain of events that would change my life as I knew it: I met Andrew, I settled in Chile, I got into research, and now Andrew and I are here in the UK, researching. Andrew and I are a little nervous about being able to entertain the professor long enough and be able to have him comfortable in the house. He's an older man and of very fine taste.