Wednesday, 10/16/02 - 6:28 pm.
I have to study, so I don't have a lot of time.
I was very emotive today. Last night I was depressed, and today I had thought of slitting my wrist. Which I did. Har har. But only a blood drop came out.
Vic said he noticed I'd been very sad. I had my good times and bad times. Something always happened that sort of cheered me up for a while.
Cel told me today that Phil, Denver and a guy named Angel (we called him Angelito, because he's BIG) hadn't turned in their pictures for the yearbook. They don't want to appear on it. I decided I should do something.
I begged and begged to Phil. I was even about to cry. Phil and Angelito are the kind of people that are easily excluded and they self-exclude at the same time. Pretty much like me last year.
So I begged and looked into his eyes. I didn't know my eyes were so powerful, and I kind of convinced him. I knew he was giving in, because he avoided my eyes.
With Angelito was harder. If I got Phil half-convinced, I got Angelito third-convinced. But I made him hesitate. I made them both hesitate with my cute eyes and my pleeease...? look. But I'm still afraid that might not be enough.
With Denver...I haven't even tried. I'm very discouraged with him, last night I promised myself I'd stay away from him. I didn't tell him anything. Angelito told him: Hey, Denver, help me out here. Denv hardly even looked and said: wha...? oh, the picture. It's pretty much the three of them against me, and I'm trying my best to convince them, but they're so hard to go through...and I understand their reasons, I really do. But I don't want them to self-exclude, so I gave them my reasons. And they hesitated.
I'm praying for my begging to work out. I'd feel very accomplished and I'd keep them from self-excluding.
I saw abortion images today with my classmates, and we cried. I have no words. There's one kind of abortion in which the doctor takes the baby out of the mother by the feet, and then sticks scissors on the back of his head to make a hole in order to extract his brain and then take out the head. The baby, while is being taken out, kicks, trying to get back in. In China, people don't care about seeing dead newborn babies on the streets, because killing them it's legal.
I hate this world. And I swear that I'm having my baby, and I'm loving him, even if he's born with three legs.
I have to go study. I'm too busy I won't even watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: the next mutation. That says it all.
You suck and that's sad. But we'd still like to see your sucky picture on the lameass yearbook....