Out and trying.
Thursday, 09.14.2017 - 9:09 pm.

Andrew and I are going to Tilburg tomorrow for his concert on Saturday. We'll be back on Sunday evening. I have to pack, so two quick things:

1. I met with M, my crush, for coffee on Tuesday (after I was all pissy for not seeing her sooner). It was lovely. I came out to her. I didn't expect nothing but acceptance and love from her and I got both. However, I also didn't think she would bring up me having a threesome. By now I should know better, though, it's not the first time. Friends I come out to tend not to question my sexual orientation, thankfully, but they will ask about me having threesomes with my husband and "another woman". Lord.

2. Speaking of my husband, Andrew and I were riding the bus yesterday and in a 15-second conversation we agreed to have a baby. Like, make one as soon as our bodies allow it, if so. Ok, it was not a spur-of-the-moment thing, this is a topic that's been with us our whole relationship. We've looked into adopting in the UK (we can't), we've thought of adopting from either of our countries and we've been discouraged from it. We've talked about our timing as PhD students. I DO NOT want to be pregnant, I didn't want before, and I don't want now when I'm finally starting to feel comfortable with my own body and I've built a sense of control over it. BUT. It's Andrew, man. I do want to have his baby. He isn't the "I'll help you with the baby" type, he's the "I'm here to raise my child" type of man, I mean, Jesus, what a gift he is.

More on life later.

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