Friday, Jan. 11, 2019 - 6:35 pm.
You know, suddenly it feels like I might finish my thesis on my self-imposed deadline. I probably won't, but it *feels* like it, and that's encouraging. At the moment, I'm editing and rewriting and running last-minute analysis, but I've come to find more previous progress to build upon than I expected. Good for me.
My article about ditching the PhD while doing the PhD finally came out yesterday in the Doctoral magazine of my university. This edition was supposed to come out in September. Its never-coming-out kept adding to my already long list of writing-related failures of last year: I was either rejected, unpublished, or published and absolutely unnoticed.
I wouldn't have found out about the publication if it wasn't for someone in the Psych Department, who posted the link to the magazine to the Department mailing list. Then I felt embarrassed. Then I felt sad because it would go largely unnoticed, as most of my writing goes. Nobody I know reads that magazine. And my article is not that great, is it?
Then I came to check the article again, and I realized they got my Department wrong. I said, of course, I cannot get anything published without a degree of failure involved. Then I laughed it off. This is like Monsters Inc. when Mike Wazoski notices that his face on a magazine cover or on a TV ad is covered, but he's overjoyed anyway at being on the cover or on the TV.
It is what it is, man, so I might as well just post my damn article on my social media accounts. The world will ignore me but not without a fight from me to get their attention, dammit.
This is the biggest piece of news I have. The thesis is indeed sucking my energy and attention, and it will continue to do so for at least a month, but I'm holding on to my non-hobbies (the thesis being my hobby). I'm not forcing myself, though, some days I am mentally exhausted to do anything else after work. But, hey, I'll follow my own advice published in that magazine: Nurture your life outside the PhD.
Wait, a quick note. Joseph and I continued to exchange a few messages after he reached out to me months ago. Well, two messages. Before Christmas, he sent me a picture of his cat. "Oh, are we doing this? OK", I thought; what's his name, I asked, and I commented on what a cutie the cat was. I suppose he looked over my Instagram and was pleased to find it's populated with cats. A few days into the new year, he wrote to tell me he'd met with CR after so many years. Send him my regards, I asked, for I hold CR close to my heart. And that was it. I feel less than a punch in the stomach when I see his name now, that is major progress (but I'm in no rush to seeing his name at all, thanks).