Sunday, Apr. 12, 2020 - 5:03 pm.
I've been thinking how lucky I've been, Andrew and I have been, amidst the pandemic. The crisis found us settled down in an apartment, with decent enough jobs that we can continue from home. I'm crossing my fingers my new contract with the university is coming through, and Andrew will soon start his postdoc research. We're healthy, safe, relatively stable; we laugh together and share sorrows, we cook for each other. We have our cats. I'm grateful for this and I do not take it for granted.
There isn't much more to say, I guess. Stuff in my country has gotten pretty bad, but it's no use getting involved in any of that shit online: Nobody listens to me, it wouldn't change anything, and I get a little paranoid. See, I'm a nobody but petty governements can quickly turn into atrocious and dangerous, and it would be so easy to trace some of my family members. Then, stuff here is also pretty bad, and I'm afraid it will be worse as winter approaches.
I mostly remain in my Happy Place. I draw my Simeon cartoons (so much joy, I can't even begin to tell you), and I write papers for my boss and do whatever else she needs me to do, and I supervise my thesis groups. I throw into the internet void some knowledge and tips from the Psych field here and there, but again, nobody listens to me. I trust the people who might need to read what I'm saying will come across my words eventually. It's all I have left to hope.
It's been a month now since I've been on lockdown. I have yet to miss going outside. I think I would if I still lived in Sheffield, that place was so cool and beautiful and unbelievable, and so there I would be going mad with wanting to go out. But here it's fine, I guess. Plus, we live on a fourth floor and we get direct sunlight, and we have big windows and a glass door into the balcony. That helps a lot.
I wanted new books, though, and no libraries from inside or outside the country seem to be delivering at the moment (which, of course: understandable). I finally came across a local artisanal, indigenous-adjacent, eco-friendly, anarch-feminist publisher who do deliveries. They had quite a few interesting titles and I just got word that they'll deliver my order next week. Yay, books.
The local animal rescue organization is also in trouble, because they run on donations collected at adoption events, and those are not happening at the moment. I helped them out a bit. They do what they can. And just a few nights ago, I noticed a scared kitten crossing the street in front of my building. I lost track of it as it went into a nearby neighborhood, but I can't stop thinking about it, and I hope someone gives it a loving home.
So many people and other animals in trouble, this is the main source of my anguish since the crisis started. All the suffering, for one reason or another, and the risk and uncertainty, plus the fear that all, at some point, may reach me and take me down. Hopefully not. So far it seems my family and friends remain safe and healthy, and I hope I will remain so, too, so that I can support others however I can.