An adoption meeting, a new relationship label and a birthday
Sunday, Jun. 14, 2020 - 1:00 pm.

On Friday morning, we *finally* attended the adoption meeting via videoconference. Between the agency not contacting me after my first declaration of interest submission and the pandemic, it took Andrew and I 10 months to get to this fucking point. The agency is also still figuring out how to conduct the whole adoption process online. But hey, it's a start. At last.

The meeting was about two hours and a half long. It entailed legal and technical information about the adoption process, where the kids come from and the process families go through. It was good, very informative. I knew most things intuitively (from the psychosocial angle, not the legal one), and I got very emotional during some parts. Like, when they were talking about the moms of some of the kids in the system, or when I imagined meeting our child in their care home, having to visit them for 20 days straight so Andrew and I can become their connection with the outside world. Children are only taken out of their homes for medical reasons, check-ups and vaccines and the like.

It's gonna be a long process. They say one year, I'm preparing for it to be more than that. On the plus side, we might be able to have a house by the time the kid comes, and hopefully we'll remain stable at our jobs to keep preparing for that.

On another news, I think it's kind of official that I have a girlfriend. There's been more conversation than sex between Helen and I, about our relationship but also about general stuff (like the adoption). I found myself wanting to label our relationship, if anything because what I feel for her, what we do and what I'd do for her, falls in the category of someone who is my girlfriend.

Then I kind of backtracked in my insides. Even my libido decreased after putting that label on us. The libido thing is fine, I've been aroused for three or four weeks straight, having (text)sex with her, with Andrew, and sometimes with the two of them, one after the other. I never got tired of it, but I do think it's time to go back to focusing on a variety of topics besides sexuality.

Backtracking is very me, so I'm not too worried. I backtracked with Joseph, I backtracked with Andrew. The moment a relationship becomes official, I panic more than I'd like to admit and I start wondering if I made a mistake. It usually isn't a mistake. But for the sake of transparency, I do need to bring this relationship up to Andrew at some point.

Things with him haven't changed, ours is a very fun and supportive marriage. This weekend we received some custom furniture that he ordered as a surprise for me (a bookcase, and a wooden cat house; the cats now sleep on the new bookcase .___.). We also got cookies with weed from a friend. I think I like the taste of the cookies more than being high. I got high for the first time ever a few weeks ago with a cupcake (I don't smoke) and then came the time for my weekly videocall with my parents. I fought the urge to burst out laughing in front of them, and I told them I'd just woken up from a long nap.

Living my second adolescence indeed.

Tomorrow's Andrew's birthday. I got him a book on Tolkien and World War I (two of his most refined interests), and I ordered a birthday cake. Then, I've been contacted by a few of our friends who will send him gifts in form of food. I've already scheduled receiving two breakfasts (like a proper hobbit!), and a coffee and cake set. The cake I ordered is for 15 people because they weren't making them any smaller. We'll have a lot of food, I expect.

On a different front, I was invited to give a talk at some seminar on mental health during the pandemic, organized by an association in my home country. My first reaction was to say no, but what the hell. I do have a few studies on mental health (thanks to Brother #3) and on eating habits (thanks to my boss) of people under lockdown measures. It turns out I do have something to say, and wasn't I always wishing I could give something back to my country? As I've been doing with some other things in my life, it's time to put my money where my mouth is.

Alsooooo, today's my second anniversary of having met Steven Tyler and Joe Perry, before standing first row at the Aerosmith concert in Dublin. Who would've thought. Who would have fucking thought.

Alright, be well, stay safe.

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