I got the book cover I wanted
Sunday, Aug. 23, 2020 - 3:18 pm.

I got the cover for my book this week, which just makes me feel like this is Officially Happening. On Monday morning, I got an email from the designer with a proposal that I didn't like a lot, but after my reply with a few tweaks, his next email contained what I wanted. I thought it was beautiful, it's perfect.

I'm ridiculously excited now. I'm sending the manuscript corrections and my "author photo" this week, bless Andrew's patience for helping me with the latter. I just have to wait for a friend of Andrew's living in Spain (where the publisher is based) to kindly make the second payment for the book on my behalf.

I found so many things to correct in the manuscript, but I think I've covered all bases by now. Now hopefully they'll change all that and we're off. For all the rush I've been in these past few years to get it out, now I'm finding it hard to let it go. Once I send these corrections, it'll be a matter of weeks, or months, before the book is out in the world, completely out of my hands. Even if it goes completely unnoticed, it will be out of my hands and that still scares me a bit.

To be continued.

Between the book revision and work, I haven't dedicated a lot of time to my girlfriend the last two weeks. I warned her it'd be like that, and besides the episode I wrote about last week (which she later apologetically labeled it as a tantrum), she's taken it pretty well. But we've taken to having a date night every weekend, and it seemed she was ready to break up with me two nights ago, on Friday night.

I've always been aware and frank about the terms of our relationship. There are many things I cannot provide for her: we live on opposite sides of the continent and I'm happily married (let it be reminded that Andrew knows I talk to her and that I call my girlfriend). Often my resources are directed to my immediate life demands. She knows all this and she agreed. I told her I was completely aware that she got a shitty deal with me and, while I did not want to break up with her, I reminded her my door was open for her to come and go as she pleases.

She didn't break up with me. She doesn't even think it's a shitty deal. She even ended up putting on a show on camera, and I couldn't believe someone would do that for me. I mean, in between her saying she didn't want to break up either and the show there were a couple of hours of talking, first about the dynamics of our relationship, and then about mundane everyday stuff.

I already have her to go over and over (and over and over) our feelings, so I'm not gonna write about this here. Suffice to say I still have a girlfriend, which is better than not having one. I don't mean being in a relationship with another woman for the sake of it, it's just that this one person I'm with is great to be with in this way.

On another front, I've been terrible at keeping up with my family, except for my parents' weekly call and a few messages over the week with my siblings. Same with friends. So far, though, I think most people I know are doing well enough, keeping safe as much as they can.

For the most part, I remain safe and happy in my little bubble of domestic bliss with Andrew and the cats. He and I are approaching our one-year anniversary of leaving the UK, and we still cry every day over seeing people and places that made up our life, an unbelievably amazing life, for four years.

I don't want to dwell on the latter much. Stay safe.

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