Exhausted but well-fed and bi
Friday, Sept. 18, 2020 - 3:24 pm.

I'll try to keep this short. We have a day off today for Independence Day and I haven't had this much rest in one day in a while, not even on a weekend.

The week was very demanding, with lots of work and having Andrew's dad and a friend or two over to sense a resemblance of celebration. It was also my country's independence day this week, but our "celebration" is just military shit, flying helicopters that awaken everybody's PTSD from the civil war. Here they didn't fare any better with their bloody dictatorship, but at least they're big on food and community for these celebrations.

Andrew and I went to our friend K's house yesterday to celebrate (i.e. eat). Our group consisted of seven people, that is, Andrew and me, and the five friends that have supported us the most through our going to and coming back from UK*. All of us take measures to be safe in our daily lives, but I still didn't feel 100% safe sitting at a table with them, which sucked. Nevertheless, I needed this, I needed to go out of the apartment and see friends.

*We still cry with grief nearly everyday. Today the Chilean friend who welcomed us when we first arrived to Sheffield five years ago(!) uploaded a photo of us celebrating independence day at her apartment. Our first of a few in the UK, and just a week or os after we'd arrived. Andrew broke down when he saw the picture.

I'm having a bit of a creative impulse lately but it's mostly intent rather than any concrete ideas. I think I'll get back to doodling and writing once the book is done, I feel like I'm stuck with that and I can't move on until I know the book is on its way. I mean, the payment to the publisher was done so it should be on its way(!), but I need to see the final product before it's out of my hands forever.

Oh, this upcoming week is Bisexual Visibility Day, on the 23rd. I'm elated, I can't believe I ended up in a fully bi household (speaking for the humans, we're unsure about the cats). Last night at our friend's house, I was smiling on the inside by thinking that last year I thought it was just me, one out of seven, who was queer. But now it's two of us (although I don't know if Andrew will ever feel comfortable enough to come out to them), maybe even three according to my hunch about another of our friends in that group.

And that's it for today. For the record, I'm digging this day. It doesn't feel like any day of the week and it feels that it's here for me to enjoy it by doing nothing. I've been feeling exhausted, an overwhelming generalized exhaustion, so this day is a gift.

Stay safe.

prev / next