I'm a cranky, functional failure
Friday, Mar. 04, 2022 - 5:31 pm.

I'm writing right now with a sore throat, because I've been trying to nail a presentation and it's just not working. This is the keynote speech for the start of the master's semester, scheduled for next Thursday, and I simply talk too much. It's not hard to see which parts I should cut, but I can't seem to do it when I'm talking and the slide pops up.

I feel like I'm not doing really well with this act of presenting. I stumble on my own words and go blank for a few seconds grasping for the right words. I don't know if I've lost practice or I've always been like this and I just gained awareness. Oh, well. Suck it, academia.

I also hate myself because practicing this presentation comes while I'm undergoing treatment for my broken jaw. I finally had my appointment this week. I paid one month's salary to get something injected into my jaw, and it wasn't even fully injected where it should have been because the damaged joint connects to the brain. I'm a functional failure, Jesus Fucking Christ.

Anyway, the treatment, besides the shot, is eating soft food for two weeks. The dentist put no restriction on talking. Alas, I've practiced the presentation twice today, each time amounting to over 50 minutes, and so I've hurt my jaw and my voice. Wonderful.

On related news, this week we got back to work. It's been very slow, blessed be, although this also makes me wonder if I'm forgetting to do something. I feel guilty for not having a lot of things to do, but not too guilty.

And anyway, I have enough on my plate feeling stressed because it's the end of the first year of my research project and the records of my spending are turning out a bit wonky, despite how careful I am when handling money and keeping track of it. Pray for me, I guess.

I'm very cranky about the presentation and the jaw so this is my update. You're free to go now. Stay safe.

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