Saturday, Mar. 25, 2023 - 12:07 pm.
Just a quick recap to not lose the habit:
- Work is getting hectic. I have a lot of classes to prepare. Well, maybe not a lot, but it's still a full course next semester and other supporting lectures for under and postgrad courses. I've been called to four courses by the colleagues who lead them, they all say "this [sexuality and gender] is such a new subject that anything you can contribute with will be greatly received". It's a lot of work, even if I only teach about "the basics" (nothing about this is basic), but it's also very rewarding.
But also, I gotta come clean with my fear of being called out by a student. For whatever reason: Because I skipped a piece of information or, worse, because they think they know something because they're younger and queerer. A couple of colleagues have told me they've been told they're "wrong" by a student in a rude manner and for something, I then learn, that's not necessarily wrong. I can accept being wrong, but I won't accept any rudeness nor any non-sense that comes from their self-centered beliefs.
I just hope I'll have a clear head if something like this happens. I do get flustered easily. Anyway, overall the students are quite sensible, and I've found they appreciate that these subjects are finally being addressed in the classroom.
See, I was gonna write just one paragraph about work and here we are. And this is just the tip of the work iceberg.
- This week, I asked Andrew to help me with something that was literally making me lose sleep (really, one night I spent two hours awake). He did his best but then he overstepped, and ended up making a financial decision for my research project.
He's smart and he soon realized what he'd done, and apologized. We still had a bit of tension over breakfast the next day because he didn't need to be told what had happened, but I needed to say it. Otherwise, I would have spent a lot of time ruminating and quietly resenting him; I already was.
But after saying a few words, I felt I'd released something. Everything. And we moved on. I'm a bit concerned that financial decision might be contested when my project is audited, but I can deal with that. I will worry about it if it happens.
- My mom is having a lot of health issues. Annoying health issues like chronic coughing, IBS and low (alarmingly low) weight. My siblings are on top of this, but it's hard to find a definite answer and cure, and I know my mom cries out of desperation. I've seen her do that, and I feel for her because I cry too when my body is out of my control.
On this subject, I'm still unsure of when I'll fly home to see my family. Last night, a friend of ours (the one who set Andrew and I up to have lunch the day we met, our first day at the master's course) invited us to his birthday party. His siblings and nephews and nieces were there, and I wanted something like that for myself: A get-together around a barbecue with my four siblings (and partners and kids if possible).
I do wonder if that's ever gonna happen. I hope the five of us live long enough for that to happen.
- Oh, I dreamed I had a daughter. She looked like Niece #1 when she was a toddler, the cutest thing with blond-ish curls all around her head like a halo. My daughter even had a name. I was chasing her playfully, and I caught her and hugged her, but when I tried to kiss her she turned into a hologram. But the point here is that, as that happened, in my dream I realized "oh, this is about adoption, huh", haha. It hurt, and it made me laugh.
But that was a quick dream the night I couldn't sleep, and it was sandwiched between like seven micro-nightmares. That night sucked.
- Lastly, we'd let go of the house that we wanted (again) a couple of weeks ago because the lady was asking for a ridiculous price. We took a break from house-hunting this week, but then the real state agent called to ask if we were still interested in that house.
Apparently we're the only ones interested in it. So there you go. We sent in our offer again, which is still WAY more than the house costs in its current state, and it's way more than what the lady paid for it six months ago. So we'll see.
Now, it's time for me to exercise and go about my day. I'll be working on my webtoon, what a treat, what a joy!
And tonight will be fun: We're having a small get-together to celebrate B, my former-but-forever boss and dear colleague/friend. This was a week of birthdays, starting with Brother #3 (yes, I called him), and including my friend Virginia, and Helen (she's coming to visit in mid-April. I have yet to talk about that). Plus that friend mentioned above and B.