Tuesday, 10/23/01 - 7:22 p.m..
Grab life by the horns.
My Aerosmith tape is getting screwed. I just taped the Sunshine video and the sound sucks *tear*.
It was a depressive day today...and it's such a lovely evening.
It went like this: I was feeling really down today, I was just one step away from crying. Because of...you know what....Everything.
BUT at lunch, I found Carmen out of the cafeteria. She was crying...because she got a 7 in math...she was in Heaven!! She was so happy she was crying. It was sweet. Her happiness kind of made my day. Then Norman joined us and the three of us sat and ate in the hallway. I really had a happy time.
Well, actually, my whole day at school was up and down, so-so, more or less. Carmen was happy and when she is happy, it's nice to be with her. Good. Veronica ignored me and I ignored her back. Good. We watched Cast Away. Neat.
I talked to Betty today. Well, we always talk, she sits in the desk behind mine. But today we found something in common...we're both looking for that "someone special". It was amazing. All of a sudden, she says: I wish I had someone who knew me completely. I looked at her and said: me too!!. We're kinda connected now. By such small, corny thing.
On the other hand, today when I arrived to school, I went straight to Fidel's office...I'll admit it, it was because the guy was on his way to the same place. When I was about to enter, he got out. We waved at each other. I didn't see him the rest of the day. I thought that maybe he'd left. In the afternoon, I thought I'd better not call him until next monday. And surprise, he called me. And yes, he did leave because he felt ill. I knew it. Love is not blind. I noticed his absence.
Of course, I didn't tell him anything. Our conversation was really away from sex. Tomorrow there's a mass and the choir didn't rehearse. So he'll be all by himself singing. I admire his balls...I mean...singing and playing the guitar all by yourself in front of junior high...
His call made my day, even more. And I have an excuse to call him tomorrow, too. I'll ask if he got better. Then Veronica called. She called to say hi. I was a bit distracted because I was waiting for Sunshine to come on. But we had a nice talk. We talked a lot about school. And I'm gonna help her to study. I know, I'm a sellout...but not completely. She asked me to be with her and Clown, her boyfriend, tomorrow...which is not happening (but I was gentle and said yes...without saying specifically "yes").
I played with Frog today in the garden. I felt like a child. I was rolling on the grass, calling her back and forth...with an infinite happiness. I was off in my own world. Away from everybody, from everything. Just me, Frog and nature. Suddenly, the sadness that was suffocatin' me this morning, was nothing but...nothing.
I don't know why, lately I've been having bad starts but eventually the day becomes happy. So yay me, I'm happy. I can't even remember why I was sad...well, I do. I was feeling alone, as always. Because I'm forced to isolate myself. But like I said, eventually little things happen, like a snowball coming down a hill, making it bigger, and little by little, I finish my day with a smile. Aw, thank you, God. I have a lot of sunshine. How appropiate the release of Aerosmith's Sunshine as a single, right now.
Well, I'm gonna need a lot of myself tomorrow. I'll have to make an essay about loneliness, based on Cast Away. I liked the movie. I can relate to it.
I have nothing coherent to say. I'll go share my happiness with Simeon and our mirror. Because unfortunately, that's the only thing I can do.
A cheese is still a person in your neighborhood.
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