They don't get me, why should you?
Thursday, 01/09/03 - 10:41 am.

It's kind of funny when a friend of yours calls you and tells you what happened to her. It's just funny.

Veronica. Calls. Sounds different. And she tells. Norman kissed her. She kissed Norman. And everything is oh, so confusing.

I won't even take the time to explain their relationship, but they've been best friends since 8th grade. People have always thought they'd end up together. Congratulations to the confused "couple".

I was lucky enough to be home alone last night. I put on Don't let me get me and...yes, yes, YES, YES..I cut. It's a different kind of pain. I like it. It makes me feel good. Leave me alone.

I was cutting in front of the computer, while chatting for the first time with the guy. Gosh, he sucks so much. He wants to do it everywhere. On the phone, online...

- The guy: so...when?
- Me: when? yesterday! They had a beautiful baby girl!
- The guy: what you talking about?
- Me: you asked in "when did the baby arrive?"
- The guy: No, I'm asking you when I can come over.

I avoided his stupid questions about sex, so here and there he'd go: I don't get you, I don't understand, what are you talking about?.

Me: while you're cumming, there's a mother killing her baby.

Like he cared.

Next time, I'll yell at him. I don't care if he stops talking to me. He's not a friend, he's a penis stuck to a retarded boy.

Meanwhile, I was holding a very lame conversation with him. Let's call him D, shall we?

Ok, so I was holding a very lame conversation with D. He asks me about some MS Word feature, I say I don't know, he then asks for someone's phone number.

I don't catch your train of thought.

He remarked whose phone number he wanted. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT?

Of course I didn't say that. But I wanted to. What I mean is that he's always the same crap: he asks for something, and you're trying to answer his question when he asks you something completely different and it's like he doesn't care for the answer to the first question.

Sometimes I'd love to insult him and tell him GO AWAY, but he might take it too seriously and not talk to me again. That'd be ok, I don't need him. I just would miss insulting him.

Last night I a good mood. Pissed, but in a good would you call that?

Simeon: self-destructive with a sense of humor?

Why, yes. Self-destructive with a sense of humor.

The worst thing was what happened with Victor.

- Victor: nick = mood?
- Me: Yeah, sometimes.

[My nickname at the time was: I T C H.!.]

Long story short, I can't remember how we got there, but I said: I just cut. And he goes: WHAAAAT??? Dude, no!!!!!! what are you doing?!?!?!

I realized my huge mistake. wasn't a mistake! When you say "I just cut" to someone, they're supposed to understand it's an accident: "oh, I just cut with scissors/knife/the edge of a table, it was an accident, I'm so dumb".

I didn't think he'd get it. No one does. When I say that, as a way to tell the world without them even noticing, all I get is "oh, I'm sorry. Is it too deep?" "how did it happened?", "be careful", "does it hurt so much?". I didn't know he'd get it.

I'm a bit scared because I'm meeting up with him at noon. He offered me to help me with an assignment. He's being too kind to me. But I'm probably just giving myself way too much credit. That's not gonna happen. It won't. And I'm glad about it. I don't want anyone in my life. Not now.

I just thought about it because...well, who would sacrifice hours of laziness just to go to college two hours earlier than the usual to help a stupid little girl? D. would never do it. No one would. Why did he even offer it?

Simeon: love is stupid and so are you.

So I have to leave earlier, therefore I have to have lunch earlier, therefore, I have to stop losing time on here.

The wheather it's still cold. These long sleeves won't let them see my arms, nor what I did to them.

*evil grin*

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