Friday, 04/25/03 - 12:36 am.
(today is my nephew Renan's 11th birthday...congratulate the little boy, I love him so much)
So...it happened again. Another person who walks all over me, out of my life. Following the tradition stablished in 8th grade.
But I accept it. It was my fault, I overwhelmed Cel. Now she won't talk to me. But that's ok. I just feel sorry for being so stupid.
Victor says it's not my fault, that I've been a beautiful person to the both of them, and that now it's just up to her. But it is my fault. I don't know how he can refrain for blaming me, being so brokenhearted. He says she's just so unstable (I could swear this is the third entry I say that about her) that sometimes it's hard to deal with her. He keeps saying it's something between the two of them and she shouldn't take it out on me.
But she is, because I deserve it. Granted, not entirely. But in the inmediate past, I've been always bugging her.
*sigh*
I got an e-mail from Vic (Vic, my blood brother). He broke up with his long-time (almost 4 years) girlfriend. His e-mail made me realize how fragile he is, and how much he needs someone (specifically *her*). He's self-injurying and smoking over a dozen cigarretes a day.
I'm devastated by this thing with Cel, and Victor seems to be overcoming his own brokenheartedness to make me feel better. Vic is killing himself (literally) because of the breaking up, and I'm overcoming my depression (ok, I've given up, I can't think of a better word to describe my emotional state) because I have, I WANT to be there for him.
We're Sgt. Pepper's lonely broken hearts club band.
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