Wednesday, 11/14/01 - 7:09 p.m..
Melvin's birthday was yesterday. I forgot to mention it. Happy birthday, kid, I love you.
Oh, well, quite an interesting day...no, quite an entertaining day. Many things happened.
First thing after I took a bath...my dad says (with a face that scared half the hell out of me), *the guy* called. Oh, great. The guy calls me at 8.45 a.m. Isn't it a bit early to be "feeling like"? Well, I called him back. He said he called me just to say hi. The conversation didn't last more than 3 minutes. I don't think he called just to say hi. He obviously wanted some more (c'mon, who calls at 8:45 a.m. just to say hi when you got the whole day?), but probably knowing that my parental unit was home scared the shit out of him. Ok...then dad was leaving and before he left he gave me a mini-speech about "going too fast and choosing the right friends (that's what his face meant)"....dammit, can't a boy, a friend of mine, call me? I think we're gonna have some problems in a not-so-far future. He's not letting me grow up, emotionally speaking. That's a bad, bad thing. And it'll get much, much worse.
The next thing was my inbox....hell, 10 e-mails. And all of them were for me!!!! I mean, they're always for me but they're usually forwarded shit or "win money from your house". This time, many people had written to me...or I was receiving a notification that someone had written something for me somewhere over the net. Fuck, it really made my day. I think it's the first time that happens. Awww...it almost makes me cry. But it didn't.
Anyway, I was really happy with that. I had some work replying to all of those but it was worthy it. I still can't believe it. 10 emails saying "Melvin received your card!", "you have new messages at your account" and, best of all, "hi, how are you? thanks for writing"....three-thumbs-up (Simeon, you're a fuckin' freak).
Next...I started watching the miserable show of Jenny Jones. It was either that or Sally (what's the difference, anyway?). I say miserable because it shows you how miserable many people are...where in fuckin' hell there's a fat, 14-year-old bitch sleeping with 25 guys because she thinks she's sexy? Pathetic. Truly pathetic. It was fun though. For some strange reason, I love watching those shows like Jerry Springer and shit. It's the pleasure of watching morbid things, I guess.
While I was watching it, Carmen called me up. The first 15 minutes were nice. But then talking to her becomes more as if you were watching her through a webcam. She describes everything she's doing and you can listen to her. You're merely an ear. She started describing what she was watching on TV...57 fuckin' channels!!!! She hung up just because she remembered she had to do I don't know what. Ok, we talked for about 45 minutes. She talked mostly. But listening to her ("phone-cam") was quite fun. Then I played some piano. So to speak. I can't play like I used to. I'm fuckin' lazy to "learn" again, but maybe I will.
In the afternoon I went shopping. I remembered why I don't go shopping. It sucks. I mean, I was going with my parents, first of all. Are you buying THAT?, you'll use something besides that one on, right?....they get on my nerves. Second, people. God, people everywhere, trying to avoid you and viceversa, saying excuse me and accidentally hitting you. Third....fuck, there are lots of things to buy. It's hard to convince myself not to buy this or that. But I do it, in the end. I bought lots of shit for the trip...a new wallet, a new pair of jeans....and...the suitcase. Not to mention a necklace. That was unnecessary, I know. But I liked it. It is black and white and has something...well, it's some kind of a black tear-shaped stone. I love it. Dad spent a lot of money because of me. I almost felt guilty. But he loves to make me happy so, um...yay.
While dad was paying for the suitcase, he asked me if the color was ok. It's dark-blue. He said that there were also black and I can't remember the other. I said it was ok. I couldn't help thinking that elephants lead a less complex life than humans. I just couldn't help it. It came to my mind last night's show on Animal Planet about elephants and started comparing their lives with humans' lives. That was way too much to think about, so I went to check out the fabrics.
I hate the culture of this country. I hate it because it's a culture of stupidity. People are plain stupid. And they're fuckin' proud of it.
Anyway....I have my suitcase. All I need now is to get my grades to make sure that I passed this year and Renan's address "just in case". And off I go. Fuck, they'd better be at the airport when I arrive or I'll scream. All-righty-then.
I forgot to buy a blank video tape. Last year in Houston, I taped a lot of Aerostuff. I recorded more in that month than in the whole four fuckin' years I have had that tape. I even had to buy a new one (the one I'm using right now, which by the way, its sound is getting all fucked up...dammit). Now, the thing is...I have cable TV. I have the whole ABC of the channels...CBS, ESPN, MTV, ABC, NBC, CNN...but no VH1. Cool, no problem. Aero on Behind The Music won't premier until the 25th. I'm in Houston by then, and Renan has that channel. But what's that I find out today? There won't be a premiere of the show until spring.
Will I be in Houston this spring? No.
Will I be able to tape it? No.
Will our cable premiere it? No.
Will I ever get to record it? Fuck. no.
I laughed my ass off...don't you find that hillarious? I'M FUCKIN' CURSED!!!! That's it, that's the damn, simple reason why I won't ever get a chance to have something related to that bad, that's why I'll never ever get to see them live, that's why I'll never get to meet them, that's why I won't even get a stupid poster...because I'm fuckin' cursed. I don't care if it's destiny, I don't care if I'm under a bad-luck star, the truth is that I'm FUCKIN' CURSED.
I remembered today...Renan was supposed to go to Dallas, not Houston. When he was in New York, both hospitals offered him the job. Dallas....or Houston? The Dallas hospital offered it to him first...if he would have chosen Dallas, I'd be seeing that motherfuckin' band that apparently hates me a lot. But no...Houston was the best for the kids. Ok, I respect that.
The kids go first, no doubt about it. I just find it funny turning back to that situation where you have two choices and you can't pick both. You start...what if I had chosen the other one...? I wonder...what if he had chosen Dallas? Probably he wonders the same thing now that he made that decision. Probably if he was in Dallas, I'd be wondering what if he had chosen Houston? Probably the band would be playing in Houston if I was going to Dallas. That's my "luck" if there's such thing. It's hard to make a decision like the one Renan had to make. Both hospitals were "the best of the best". It's hard being in that moment when you have to pick out. You start wondering...will I regret it?. That's horrible. Regreting something and not being able to change that decision....but I know he's way happy living in Houston.
If Renan had gone to Dallas, he wouldn't have a neighbor named Tex (nice name, huh?)
Carmen called again....she wants to do a "charity act" and gave me the choice to invite Veronica over the same day as she is coming (this monday). Hell, well...they apparently discussed it. They've been talking and Veronica has said to Carmen how sorry she is about all the crap she's put her through. But, Carmen said, she (Veronica) does know what she's been doing and yet doesn't do a damn thing to fix it up. They've talked a few times. I thought...why not? why not having them both over?......like we used to be? Why not being again three happy friends? Why not giving my friends another chance?
No fuckin' way.
I won't have Veronica here just to make her little soap-operas, about how sorry she is, and to picture herself as the villain who is the victim as well (yeah, they both love to play the victims). It's enough to have one of them. Carmen will probably make a drama because of what has happened this year. I don't watch soap operas. I don't need to have one in my house.
Yes, I'm done with my bitching for today. Can't wait 'til my plane crashes......fuck, did I say that? I'm feeling a bit weird today. Well, it's been a weird day. Not that I saw UFOs (man, how I wish!!!) or anyhting like that....hell, just the fact that people wrote me emails is fuckin' weird. It freaks me out. There's something wrong with the world.
There's something wrong with the world today
I don't know what it is...
(Aerosmith, Livin' On The Edge).
Maybe the voices in my head are waking up again...Quick, Simeon!!!! Go get me my straightjacket!!!!
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