This shouldn't even exist.
Wednesday, 11/21/01 - 10:56 p.m..

It's almost 11:00 and I should go to bed. I'm about to go jet lag in a few days....or maybe not. I think Houston has the same time...anyway, travelling makes you tense and stresses you out, so I need to rest, no matter what.

I just wanted to get this off my chest...

Veronica called me saying she's coming over tomorrow afternoon. I love her. But just listening to her hurts me. I'm really ambivalent towards her, I don't know what to think and I don't have a fuckin' clue which feeling (love or hate) is right. But as general psychology says: there are no wrong answers. yeah, whatever. I'm a bit scared about tomorrow.

Alan gave me $100 for my trip. He made me cry. He's a Santa Claus throughout the whole year. I don't know where he gets so much money (he's a doctor, but still...). I know he gave up some of his savings for a laptop just to help dad to buy the new car we needed.

I didn't call the guy. I didn't feel like talking to him. On the other hand, I felt bad for not calling him. I also have to call some other girl and my cousins.

To top it off...this is hillarious, this is just so fuckin' hillarious. I'm cursed, and that's it. I was going to the Houston concert, it got called off (maybe there wasn't even a date, apparently there was just a confussion). I was going to watch and tape Behind The Music, but is not airing this sunday, probably until spring. I'm taping the Aerosmith marathon in december and what am I told tonight by Denise (my bro's wife)? They don't have cable. So.......it's 100% proved, I'm cursed. I'm fuckin' cursed. I told my brothers but they didn't care a lot. It's just a band. Yeeeah...just a band. Why doesn't that make me feel better?. It's meant to be. Yeeeah...meant to be. I mentioned some posts ago that that'd be the lamest excuse someone could ever tell me. I knew that at least one person would bring it up. That just broke my heart. What did I do? And if it's that bad...why not throwing my pathetic soul to burn in hell for the eternity, or get the "monthly thing" for 365 days in a row? I'd dare anyone to prove me wrong. I'm cursed, period. Everything related to me and Aerosmith goes bad. What did I do? Why the fuck am I being punished this way? Some people with a criminal record get to go to their concerts, why not me? I haven't killed anyone, dammit.

So all of this brought me to tears. All of this. It got me sensible. I don't know if I'll have chance to write before Veronica comes over. I hope so. But I wouldn't say more that I've just said.

I'd better go 'cause my brother wants to work here.

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