Sickness and the strange, loving family.
Saturday, 09/13/03 - 3:32 pm.

I've been awfully sick these past 24 hours. Everything I had (hurt all over my head, unable to breath) got worse at night, when I also got fever, although I was freezing. But now it just feels like a common cold, with stuffed nose and coughing.

I've been taken care of by my parents. Both of them. It's cute and I thank them from the bottom of my heart, although it saddens me to think that such a nice thing (having someone to take care of you, specially both parents) represents a luxury for just a few, nowadays.

Dad had the brilliant idea of calling my brothers in Houston (Alan and Renan, both doctors as you may already know). I didn't want to. But I ended up explaining them (one by one) what I was feeling. Then they talked to my mom.

At a certain point, the two of them started to fight over the phone, because the two of them had an opinion. My mom started to cry and got really upset. The only thing they seemed to agree on was that there's no need for me to go see a doctor (my mom had already made an appointment with an otolaryngologist, but called it off).

The only good thing that came out of the phone call is that Alan prescribed me two kinds of pills that, I believe, are the reason why I'm feeling better today. Other than that, I got really worried. My two brothers fighting (out of five siblings -including me- they're the ones who'd always fight the most)...and then when my mom got upset about it, she and my dad had a little discussion that almost turned into a fight. Meanwhile, I pretended I was asleep, with hot tears rolling down my cheeks, soaking my hand (I do believe they helped me with the fever, though...).

I couldn't help feeling it was my dad's fault, for calling them. You wouldn't think I'd put the blame on myself, would you? After all, I wasn't too keen on the idea of calling just to tell them what's happening (which really meant "let's ask them what she has and what we should do about it"), to begin with. But I did feel like a burden.

I found out today, through Alan's girlfriend, that everything is cool between the two of them. That's a relief. They both have such a temper, and I was afraid they could even make something disgraceful (like Alan leaving the house or stopping talking to one another).

Like I said, I was feeling like a burden. My parents going to the pharmacy at night to get me some pills, my brothers trying to find out what it was, my sister saying she'd call off a trip so I wouldn't be alone (my parents are going to the country tomorrow and will be back on monday, and she was going to go too, leaving her son with me)....everybody was taking care of me, getting in my bedroom often to check on me, and stuff. It's a nice thing, being taken care of.

A nicer thing is that they do not make me feel a burden. I can honestly say that for them, I am not a burden...just like if they were sick, they wouldn't be a burden for me and I'd do everything to make them feel better...strange family, eh?.

Was I freaking out over this sickness? No. I tend not to freak out over sickness. It'll pass. Even if it's me passing away. As long as I can have the chance to thank my family and tell them I love them. Mom does freak out. Don't worry mom, fever is a good sign. She didn't believe me. But it is true, fever means your body is fighting. The antibodies move faster and they create heat. Or something like that (I remember being told about it in high school).

Carmen came over for half an hour or so, a while ago. It was alright.

You know what kind of pills my brother prescribed? the ones that disolve in water, and the ones that disolve under your tongue (I'd taken those before). They're neat. They're very comfortable for me, because as you already know, I cannot swallow pills. So I'm forced (or better said, my parents/my brothers are forced) to look for other choices. Ugh, I suck.

Christ, I wasn't going to write all this.

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