Happy morning, Frog.
Tuesday, 10/21/03 - 12:14 pm.

I think it's fall somewhere in the US, but here it's plainly windy. And that alone has made me the happiest person on earth (well, given the world population, there's always the possibility that someone is happier than me, but who's counting?).

I woke up...well, I've been waking up at 6:30 am since the october wind arrived. I don't like waking up too late (past 8), anyway. It must be the weather, but I feel encouraged me (or something) to get up earlier. I took Frog for a walk at 8 o'clock, when I usually do it at 10. I studied for today's midterm and watched Friends, like I do everyday.

I'm very happy, like I haven't been in over a year and a half and more (happy beyond logic). I don't quite understand how come I used to say (in the early stages of this diary) that I was happy, when all I did was moan about how lonely and rejected and hurt I felt, because of school. But I'm sure I considered myself happy because I had the basics (say, a nice family) and somehow I always managed to cheer myself up and have fun observing whatever happened around me (like playing Discovery Channel and stuff). And well, I must admit I found good people (Vic, Pablo), too, who were true friends to me.

It's funny to think that a year ago was my last monday of high school, and I was nothing like this. I was miserable, nursing a broken heart, scared of leaving school, but dying to get out of that place.

But I don't want to talk about the past right now. I feel I've mourned enough over Denver, and I've slowly gotten over the fact that I will not come back to school, ever. I go to college now, and life seems to be a little emptier, but a little more specific as well. Specific as in "at least now I know I'm taking a very personal path (psychology) in life, in which I believe with all my heart, and that's good for the self". That's a long, subjetcive definition of "specific" but you get the point.

I'm really happy today. People try so hard to find happiness, as if happiness was a style of life, or something you lost when you were a stupid child and didn't realize you had it and that you'll get back some time when you're a grown up. I can't quite put my finger on it, on what happiness really is, and I'd hate to go for the clich� that "you find happiness in the smallest things", but I think not only is that a clich�, but also is true. Not "smallest" as in size, but "smallest" as consideration. Not many people consider watching a fish, or holding your dog-named-Frog, happiness. Then again, happiness is something very personal.

Guess who called me? THE OBESE GIRL!!! She just made my day happier. My super duper skinny girl friend from high school. I miss teasing her and making her laugh. She's wonderful. I miss her *tears*

My period cramps arrived at midnight, and I remember rolling around my bed for a long time in my sleep. I was dreaming about the Gestalt psychology. I have the feeling I studied in my sleep, because I was writing everything down. My psychology book says sleeping after studying helps you improve your memory, because nothing else interferes with what you just learned. I'll put that to the test today, because I've been studying for today's midterm every night before I go to bed. Hi, I'm stupid and I believe in everything I read.

Ok, bye.

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