License, and three objects of affection.
Wednesday, 11/26/03 - 12:43 pm.



I can't believe it, this is all finally over. I got 8.6 on the exam. I had to swallow all the joy when I saw the nice lady (she looked like the one at the restaurant in the emperor's new know, the one that says "mazeltov") writing "aproved". I didn't want to lose my mind. It was like swallowing gum. The joy has not come back to me, but I'm relieved I'm past that.

Ok, so that's just in.

Go take her Ideal Celebrity Match quiz. I'm not even going to say who's mine. Yeah, ok, I will. But it's no surprise *melts*. And I did not cheat, we're just soulmates (*rolls eyes slowly* at least in a parallel universe...).

I was talking to Cel last night. D was on but we didn't talk, and...well, in a nutshell, it was kind of like this:

- Me: I think I make him feel uncomfortable...or maybe it's just me, giving myself way too much credit.
- Cel: you do make him feel uncomfortable.
- Me: What?
- Cel: yes, I have noticed. When you're around or when you're brought up in a conversation, he doesn't say a word. It's not hard to tell. And I'm constantly talking about you in front of him.
- Me: you are such a rat, I love you.

Oh, ok. So I'm not that paranoid. I do make him uncomfortable. Cel said it is understandable, after what he did to me. I was always hoping he'd have a remorse, but it was just me being hopeful. I was actually expecting he'd be over his heart-of-stone behavior since...the day after he walked away from me. I'm obviously not over his heart-of-stone behavior but you's been a year, one has to move on sooner or later.

BUT moving on, I'm not very good at that. So I started wondering if he still had feelings for me. Of course he doesn't! He just feels bad...I mean, just because he's sorry doesn't mean he has any feelings for you. He feels nothing for you, but it's understandable that he's one is *that* heartless!.

Well, neo-liberalists are, but that's a tangent.

It's no use thinking about this...I'm glad I at least confirmed what I thought, I make him uncomfortable. Well, it's not my fault, you shouldn't go around the world breaking someone's heart like that. So he never loved me, I accept that, it's just that he shouldn't have gotten me started.

I almost break up with 1 yesterday. one is that heartless. I don't know...I just can't. We start getting all heated up arguing, but then he calms down and starts telling me he loves me, he's sorry, it's his fault (IT'S NOT HIS FAULT, DAMMIT!), and that we can work it out. He's too good for me.

Say...I've run out of topics for today.

prev / next