Thursday, 12/11/03 - 2:11 pm.
As it always happen when I'm about to travel, people are being lovely and trying to make appointments with me, "oh, I want to see you before you leave". Oh, how I about you do me a favor and try to do it NOT on saturday night, given I leave at 5 am on sunday?
Seriously. They make me feel special and shit but I need these days off. I'll be away for a month, and when you're 18 or 19, a month is a long time (George Harrison). Specially for me, so attached to my house and my family. The UCA mates want to go for lunch on saturday, but I'm afraid I'll have to say no. May wanted to go out on saturday with me. And Head...well, Head is ok, because he just came from Canada and we have not seen each other in over a year. He'll come over tomorrow. He's my friend, ok parental units?
I'm afraid soon I'll get a call from Carmen or Veronica or Cel or God knows who else (many people come out of the dark when they discover you are leaving) to say "I want to see you before you leave" (they might as well not do it and I assure you it wouldn't be an ego-smash for me). I don't understand. I've been here...always. I'm going away for a month, which is not big deal, when you consider I've spent much more time without seeing people and viceversa.
I'm really sorry about Frog, though. She has not left my side the whole week. She looks at me and puts her paw on my leg, she follows me around and...well, I think she knows, or feels something. I even let her sleep on my bed at night (mom hates it), it just breaks my heart when she stares at me with those HUGE marble eyes, like trying to tell me something in dead tongues. I love her, she's so amazing. Dumb...but amazing.
The soldiers from this country that were sent to Iraq were attacked two days ago. Nobody was wounded and they'll remain over there. Fuck this stupid government. We have nothing to do with Iraq, and instead of rebuilding what the civil war destroyed (10 years ago and it's still in your face) in this country, they send them somewhere else to fight somebody else's meaningless war.
A few days ago I read a quote that said: aside from ending slavery, facism, nazism and communism, war has never solved anything. Who says (or rather "proves")that they've disappeared? War didn't solve them and they're not gone. There's slavery in Africa, something easily ignored because "it's too far away". Facism is what this stupid country is ruled by (and the USA government loves it, it's not hard to see). Nazism is not entirely gone (but apparently, since it's not attempting to take over the world, it doesn't matter) and communism...is something else. Gone, as well. But something else.
Just at lunch dad and Chevy Chase (a friend of my dad's, Alan and I call him Chevy Chase because...well, duh) were discussing that thing about communism. People is really scared of communism, and they still say communists will eat your children. The left wing has been labeled as communist. The elections for president are on march, so the media, belonging to the government, takes a lot of advantage of people's ignorance: "oh, you're christian or you're just communist".
Not really, because communism is not atheism and has not really a lot to do with religion. Communism is a POLITICAL SYSTEM that, obviously, failed. But it's a political system. Simple as that. There's ABSOLUTELY no internal conflict in someone who's communist and believes in God.
As far as I know, the left wing is not interested in communism. They just talk about change, because over the last 15 years the government has belonged to the right wing, and all they care about is numbers and economics and privatizations.
So when the forgotten social system breaks down, there's no education, the money's gone and families are torn apart because the head of the family has to go look for money somewhere else (that's why you see many latin people in the USA). The children of the post-war, coming from broken, uneducated families, grow up to become members of a gang, and the president thinks of nothing more brilliant than to send to jail whoever looks like a member of these gangs (that is, whoever has a tattoo, like I mentioned a couple of entries ago).
And there's no middle class anymore, either. Less and less people can access public services now (partly because nothing is "public" anymore, everything's been privatized). But then the left wing says "we want change, for the people" and the right wing says "oh, you're just communists, you don't believe in God, you're no good". Martin-Baro says that the opposite to believing in God is not atheism, but worshipping idols. But what does the government know, they were the ones who sent the army to murder him, while they were worshipping the perks of being rich in a neoliberalist system copied from the USA.
Oh, geez. I've talked too much. So let's not even talk about the other 6 children that were "accidentally" killed in Iraq. And to think this entry was only going to be about me bitching how I'm running out of time.
Err, so, yes, I am. I have my last final tomorrow. Dammitdammitdammit, I just want to get through it already. It feels as though I am the one dragging this week, it's all farfetched. I'm getting nowhere (at least until sunday).
prev / next