Annoying christmas, most likely.
Wednesday, 12/24/03 - 7:54 am.

I intended to go to bed early last night, so I could wake up at 5 this morning. To tape a little Steven Tyler performance, nonetheless. Which I did. I mean, I taped the performance (the 2003 Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame Induction). But I actually went to bed at 12:30 am, because I was required to stay and help wrap up the presents. It was ok, though. I wasn't mad or anything. I just realized I won't get a lot of sleep until tomorrow then. Because we're going to the damn party I mentioned yesterday. We couldn't get out of it, so we're going, and we're going to spend midnight there, something I don't like. I'm not happy about going. See, it's not really a "party", as it's just going to be two more families besides mine. But it's annoying, in any case. I just don't want to go.

I think the "people my age" my brother said there would be at the part...reunion is just a 17 year old girl. That hormonal part in me wished at first it was a boy instead of a girl, but in the end, I don't quite give a fuck. I'm not talking to her. I wouldn't talk to her if she was a he, anyway, however good-looking or disgustingly obese. People my age, my ass. I'm starting to get annoyed at teenagers younger than me, perhaps just because in a couple of years I won't be one anymore, but they'll still be. But that's besides the point.

I'm in the middle of conspirancy to buy presents for the grown-ups. I told my brother Alan to buy something, from the both of us to my brother Renan and his wife, and that we'd split the money. Then I told my brother's wife to buy something from all of us to Alan (because we really can't think of anything to give him, other than some Poison CD). Both parties (Alan, brother and wife) went out last night, on their separate ways, to finish their christmas shopping. Neither came back with the present for the other. Today it's gonna be such a rush. I'm starting to hate today. But it's only because of the STUPID party or whatever it is. It's as annoying as a holiday party, anyway.

And my sister is arriving today, too. I think it's silly to come here for a week, given it's too little time for so much money, but maybe she just couldn't stand being without her son for a month. That's another present, but that I'm not sure I could get to buy...and I don't know why I feel obliged to do so. I'd hate for any member of my family or friend of mine to feel obliged to give me presents. "But it's the United States, you HAVE TO get presents for everybody", my brother said last night. What a waste of money, seriously. People don't need more than one or two presents, the rest is just bloody greed and capitalist ideology (materialism, nihilism, individualism..I'm not really sure that's got a lot to do with baby Jesus).

I mean, don't get me wrong. I know most people give presents out of the goodness of their hearts, and I do feel like giving presents to EVERYONE I love...I just...I tend to question a lot, ok?

Well, it's quite early, but I already taped something from Aerosmith, and right now I'm going to tape something on George Harrison. This feels nothing like christmas, at all, but I guess I'll leave all those holiday comments for tomorrow. Merry christmas, anyway.

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