Valentine's christmas.
Tuesday, Dec. 04, 2001 - 10:59 p.m..

Everybody was late today. Late...but with a good mood. So being late didn't seem so bad. And I almost had to walk the kids to school, but fortunately, they chose to go with mom, since she was late too, and was willing to give them a ride. Go me, I got to stay home.

I just came back from.....shopping! The biggest thrill of every teenage girl. It wasn't a thrill for me though. From all of the things I saw, I liked, really, really liked two. One was too expensive for my taste....too much money for not a big deal. The other one, a fuckin' cool pair of jeans, dark blue/light black/dark purple didn't fit. So I got nothing. Anyway, it was my first time going "shopping" since I'm here, I just kinda got the idea. We're going to Katy Mills, a huge mall with freaky stuff (my favorite kind of stuff) this weekend, so yay.......I guess. I find shopping a bit annoying, but once I'm there, with a lot of things to choose from, it's all good. I become a normal teenage girl. But I don't like to spend a lot of money.....guess I'm not that normal, even with that incentive. After going to this place, my brother and I (only the two of us were out) went to Randall's to buy food. No big deal. We spent a lot of time in the wine cellar.

I checked out Art Institutes-dot-edu, and hey, they're not only in Houston. At least I can pick some other places, in case my brother moves out. It's a hard, tough, long, cruel way to go, and I'm not sure if I'll be able to make it. Today I drew my first cartoon in ages. It's the classic "snack bar friends" toon, but I can't tak the credit for it, I just kind of like....made it mine....like Aerosmith took Train Kept A Rollin' from The Yardbirds and it's practically on every set list, a pure Aerosmith classic. So, I saw this cartoon in a show called...I can't remember its name, but it had two dogs, a little brown one and a big white one, they were both stupid. So in this episode, they go to the drive-in movies and there was this short film, starring a box of pop corn, a glass of soda and a hot dog...the first two end up eating the hot dog and dancing together. The kids cracked up when they saw the storyboard today. I cracked up, I even cried when I saw that episode for the first time.

My brother just got in a few minutes ago and told me that the son of a cousin of Denise's mom (huh) is studying in an Art Institute, web designing....and that he had to quit studying to get a full time job...because animators starve, they're so miserable they die of shame, because they can't find a job according to their skills. I don't want to bring you down, I'm just showing you how reality is, bro' said. I know. I'm worried about that. Money, after all, is important. You can't feed yourself sheets of paper or ink, it doesn't matter if it's your passion. Maybe this year I'll find out that I'm a psychic and can make a living out of it.

Now....huge standing ovation for me....I feel pointless. Not in a bad way. I'm not depressed or anything, I just have nothing to look forward to, in a near future, in this couple of months. I saw the Hallmark teddy bears that kiss...I remembered my brother saying what a rat!, when he saw that commercial, reffering to the girl. It's so nice seeing all those teddy bears and soft toys...when you got someone to give them to, or viceversa. I want to buy myself an Elmo doll (Sesame Street, for Heaven's sake) though. I love that guy. Is it just me or holidays are being rushed too much? it felt as if it was Valentine's Day, with all those chocolates and teddy bears, and hearts stuff. Christmas gifts for your sweetheart.....I don't have a sweetheart or someone for that matter, so I only bought some ice cream for myself.

Now that I talk about sweethearts and shit...I'd better email Rene, we haven't talked in more than three weeks. I just don't have anything to tell him. As the opposite, he can't shut up with his "I love you so much" crap. It's nice, you appreciate that people let you know how they feel about you, but when, like in my case, only one party feels that way, it's quite uncomfortable for the other party, you're getting unwanted attention and things you just can't give back. I'm older than him....no more than 24 hours though. When he found out that, he said fate had brought us together since we were born.....duh. Syeah, now he should rethink that stuff about "fate". I can't believe he would have left his scholarship if I said "yes, I may give you another chance". So just to fool around, I said I would and next year he's coming back, just to find out that I was only kidding, there's no chance in hell we'll be together (I'll omit "again", since we were never a real couple, thanks to his exaggerated fear to be rejected). That'll teach him a lesson. Just kidding, of course I told him straight in to his fuckin' face (or his fuckin' monitor) that there's no chance.

All right, sweethearts here, sweethearts there. Even Santa Claus has one, and I still don't understand what does she have to do with christmas. Besides chocolates and teddy bears, can't forget the roses. Alan gives my mom a bunch of roses every Mother's Day. I've only received one rose in my life. Fidel gave it to me. It's my bookmark in the autobiography of The Boys...my boys....who'll be in the same state as I am tomorrow...or maybe they're here already here, oh, God..........*ahem* so, unfortunately, this rose got too....well, it fucked up. After a year of being my bookmark, the rose ripped off and I only have the stick. I learned to use roses thanks to my sister, Nancy. When she was living with us, I was very little, I noticed she had roses in the middle of many of her books. They all were brown, wither already but they still looked beautiful, never dead. Mom puts her roses upside down and gets the same result. For less time, of course.

And now I'll just put my bitching aside and go to bed.

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