I told you not to eat on an empty stomach.
Wednesday, 02/18/04 - 6:52 pm.

I am ill, hi. I drank chocolate milk yesterday and it made me sick. I also had an apple pie, but that's of no relevance.

You'll have to return it, ma'am, my brother said at night, when I started to feel sick. And I did, you know? I hate throwing up more than average people, because I had very nasty experiences in my childhood. Dumb, dumb me.

I couldn't help feeling brave when, to my own surprise, I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. Big deal, not. My mom tried to come in, because she's always there when I'm about to throw up. Supportive, isn't she? But this time I told her to stay away, that I could do it on my own (one always throws up on their own, I am aware of that, I mean that she holds my head and tells me everything is going to be ok and such).

Supposedly I was to feel better after throwing up. I did, but just for a couple of minutes. Then I felt all heavy and sleepy and sick and dizzy and fragile and disgusted and tired and you name it. And that's how I woke up this morning, hardly able to move.

I suppose I'm getting a flu, but my mom insists my stomach is still sick. I have not had more than a bowl of soup today, at noon, and I hope I'll stay like this so I can get skinny and die.

There aren't words to describe how I really feel. Sick or ill is very limitated. My mouth is very dry, and I want to be sedated. My back hurts like a bitch (guess it's because of the position when I was throwing up...my mom insisted I should kneel, but oh-ho, no thanks). I've been sleepy most of the day, and hungry and nauseous.

Everybody is out tonight, because my dad is going to read excerpts from his poems (he's a writer, you know, he's published three books) at some place. I was going to go, but this happened. Bright side, though, I get to watch The E! True Hollywood Story: Johnny Depp. And you don't know it, but I have a thing for that man.

Anyway...that's all for today. I'm going to lay down right now. I don't remember feeling so strongly like a rotting vegetable ever before.

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