My fish is dying, and external situations will make me fail college.
Monday, 04/12/04 - 6:16 pm.

Just one thing...the person who wrote yesterday's entry...that was not me, ok?

Freud is dying. This afternoon I discovered his food was rotten, and that's probably what caused my nephew's fish to die. And it must be the cause why Freud is dying now.

He looks plainly pathetic. He used to be very active, and he was black/neon blue. Now he's a whit-ish red and seems to just be looking for a comfortable position to pass away. He doesn't move, and he doesn't eat. He even seems to be suffering from malnutrition, even though all of his food is floating on the surface. I know he's just a fish, but it's just heartbreaking.

My mom and I jumped in the car to go to the mall, just to buy more fish food. It was like on Queer eye for the straight guy (*cough* my guilty pleasure), running to the pet shop as soon as I got out of the car, and running back to the car as soon as I got out of the pet shop. I was afraid Freud would die while I was out.

I was disappointed when I saw Freud refuse his food. He won't eat. So, yeah...I think he's going to die. I have some faith left, but I see him, all pathetic, the poor thing, and I kind of wish he died already, so he won't be suffering anymore.

At the pet store, I saw a puppy. I scratched his ear and, just like Frog, he let himself fall down, closing his eyes. Too cute, he melted my heart. I wanted him so bad. I hate pet stores. I hate to think what kind of bastard will take that little angel home.

Victoria came over today, and we spent the whole day studying. Time went away very quickly, and we covered practically nothihg. Victor came, too, but only stayed for like 20 minutes. It was after he left that I went to buy fish food.

The Holy Week break is over, so I'm going back to college tomorrow. I'm not exactly thrilled about that. I hate tuesdays in particular, my schedule is non-stop from 2 to 8 pm. It's tiring and annoying.

And I have to see a counselor tomorrow. Oh, Jesus, what do they care about who I am? I am paying, give me good education. That's all they should worry about. I am not concerned about the meeting. I am just lazy. I don't feel like talking with a stranger for 20 minutes about my life inside and outside the campus.

I am working on a paper about a Freudian analysis of the movie "American Beauty". I like doing that, but I'm particulary annoyed right now. I'm two hours behind schedule, and maybe days. Why? Because I've been babysitting all weekend, attending a neurotic classmate all day long, waiting for my dad to write a column for a newspaper at 8, being infinitely patient with my mom for another hour, and waiting for my brother to check his e-mail. I was hoping to start working on this paper last monday. I started just today, because midterms are coming and I have so much to read. I wanted to start at 6 pm today, and it's 10:30 already.


I feel like crying. Im starting to get very upset. And hey, here's a tangent: I hate war. Maybe sometimes they're necessary, but this one in particular was not. Aren't you glad, mister president, to be attending the funeral of the 19 year-old soldier that you sent to Iraq? Heroes are of not much use when they're three feet under. He was already a hero before you sent him to war. He built the house his mom lives in. I'm sorry to hear you say, mister president, in the middle of the funeral, that "we expect more soldiers to die". We all expect that, but we are certainly not smiling like you are.

Oh, well. I hate animal abusers, too. I hope I can shoot one, a bullfighter or something, in the spine before I die. Sounds like I'm a terrorist, but, as I've come to find, all human beings are. Some more than others, of course. Maybe not individually, but as species, we're a curse to earth. God bless homosexuals, for they're Nature's way to say: "STOP BREEDING, SCUM!".

I'm so frustrated I just don't want to live anymore.

prev / next