Friday, Apr. 03, 2020 - 7:16 pm.
The new normal for us is just being at home. I work at home, I chill at home. I think I'm finding a good balance between the two, the first days (some three weeks ago) I didn't feel like I could properly set boundaries between work and leisure, because both were happening at the same desk. But I've learned to do that, I've done it before. I'm not as productive as I'd like to be, but fuck, who can be in the middle of a pandemic that doesn't seem to be slowing down.
I did have a couple of tiny victories this week:
1. I'm all set with my two undergrad thesis groups, I met with them online this week. I'm a little nervous because they're basing their thesis on my research proposal, and, well, I guess it's a bit like having a kid and being worried about all the mistakes you'll make while raising them. But I'm stuck with these kids (two three-member groups) only for a year and hey, they're all grown up. It's my idea but ultimately it's their project, I'm just here to support them. I'm good at that.
Oh, speaking of my proposal, and Andrew's proposal, we heard back from uni: we didn't get the funding. Psssh, big fucking surprise. I'm hurt for two reasons, though: first, out of 14 projects, I was ranked 10th, and my ego is in so much pain. Second, Andrew's project was ranked third, meaning he's first on the waiting list. THIRD! Funding was for two projects, and I bet you none of the winners belong to social sciences. That's the no-surprise part: this funding scheme usually goes for the "hard sciences" that produce more publications in less time.
I'm all right without the project because my boss looks out for me, and hopefully my new contract with uni is on its way. Plus, I have my two thesis groups and I can still conduct the research I proposed, and improve it. But Andrew needed this project to tell his current job to fuck off, and most importantly, he deserves it. It's rare that someone rejects the uni funding, but maybe someone will? I'm crossing my fingers for that this, or something better, to happen for Andrew sooner than later (though it certainly won't be in the near future, on account of the pandemic).
2. MY BOOK IS OFFICIALLY OFF MY HANDS AND INTO THE HANDS OF THE PUBLISHER! My payment went through this week, thanks to a friend of Andrew's who's currently studying in Spain. The nice woman I talk to from the publishing house confirmed they got the payment, along with the signed contract, and I could submit the manuscript and other texts (short bio, sinopsis, ideas for the cover) whenever I was ready. And so I did.
A part of me is still scared I'm making a mistake with this whole book and publishing deal. For starters, I'm quite aware that this book will probably get me nowhere. I mean, I hope not! I hope people will read it, and like it, and make it a tiny bit popular, although my history shows that I'm not bound to get too far. But we'll see. I can still dream.
Anyway, I only wrote that book because I felt compelled to. I'm not looking to earn money with this, nor become a well-known face. I wrote that book, and now it's my hope that people will like it and will find some comfort in it, the way I did as I wrote it.
Now I wait for the publishing house to edit it and correct it.
On the minus side this week, the adoption meeting that was to happen this upcoming Monday has been postponed indefinitely. I saw it coming, the city has been ordered to remain on lockdown for at least another week. But unlike the first notice, this one made me want to cry. It was the "indefinitely" part. The first time they postponed the meeting, they had a new date already set (this Monday). I'm just heartbroken that our adoption plans keep getting delayed, although I know very well that delays of any kind are just a norm nowadays.
The world seems to keep sinking, but so far I'm doing well enough (that's exactly the theme of my book!). Andrew and I will celebrate our tiny victories tonight by watching a movie and ordering sushi from the sushi place right across the streets. Bless the people making deliveries, man. Bless all that "unskilled labor" that keep the world turning, may they remain safe and finally get the recognition ($) they deserve.