Tuesday, 09/04/01 - 7:26 p.m..
My mom threw away my prozac.
While I'm writing this, my mom is walking around the house...it's drivin' me nuts!!!...Why can't people in my house just stay in their room while I'm writing? I have the sensation they're reading behind my back...instead of going to college I'll go to the psychiatric hospital. By that time, I'll be completely fuckin' paranoid and everybody inside of me (you see, I'm kind of a schizophrenic) will beat the fuck out of each other.
Awww...she just came up to me and hugged me...I love it when my mom hugs me, but...she did that just to see what I was doing in the computer!!!!..she was staring at it, and I had the browser opened!!!!
Fuck, fuck, fuck...isn't there another word that expresses anger better? Saying fuck doesn't seem to ease my anger. They (my parental units) said half an hour ago they were leaving...they fuckin' never left 'til now!!!! "Don't forget to do this, don't forget to do that"...well, they're gone now. I love my mommy and my daddy though. The best thing about them is that they're always looking out for me...the worst thing is that they're always looking out for.....huh, what a coincidence.
I have a math exam tomorrow. I haven't studied enough, I guess...but then again, you just can't study enough for a math exam (I don't say it because I have a sense of responsability but because my grades always make believe I don't study). I'm scared to death...but I gotta stay cool...a math exam can smell your fear from a thousand miles away, one week before...
I ignored V. today. I don't know if she ignored me back. I chose to ignore so. I wonder what she feels about herself dumping me....I mean, she used to love me, she used to consider me her sister. Well, time changes everything, I guess. Now she's got a new pet (her boyfriend, Clown).. I also ignored C. That's sort of terrible because she doesn't deserve it. She's been kind to me...well, she wasn't kind the day she said I think V and I worry too much about you...ok, then ignoring her wasn't that bad.
(Oh, shut up, you stupid nerdself, I don't want to study math anymore...) I want, I need to talk to someone...besides me, of course...I guess I should choose a wall...
It's pathetic how just 2 people out of 8 I emailed emailed me back.
You know? I volunteered myself to be antisocial, because people forced me to do so.
I wonder why I have that lack of social life...maybe I'm wearing the wrong personality...?
prev / next