Wednesday, 01/19/05 - 2:32 pm.
It seems everybody was afraid to forget my birthday, so I got many e-mails yesterday, and the day before. And the day before.
Good thing I'm over here, and everybody else (besides five members of my family) is over there, so no one can reach me and do silly stuff to surprise me. E-mails will have to do, and they do.
My college mates (Victor, Irene and Victoria), were quick. I got e-cards and e-mails from them yesterday. Roberto, Betty, Norman and Vic wrote me, too. My parents, and brothers...and Joseph, let's not forget! At midnight I talked to my friend Mikey online, and Angel has been sending me birthday e-mails for days. He'll call me anytime soon...he'd be a good clown, you know?
There's one particular e-mail, though, that was...this huge, unexpected thing. It came from Joe (and damn the guy, that made dream of him in a way I'm sure Joseph would hate). When I read it I wanted to have him at my reach, but I wasn't sure if it was to stab him or to stick my tongue down his throat...but you know, in case of the latter, he's only 18 (OHMYGOD I USED TO BE 18, HOW DID I GET HERE?! WHY DOES HE GET TO BE STILL 18?!).
It's odd, turning 20. No more "teen" at the end of my age. I feel kind of like a grown-up, but I was watching this commercial of some cream for "adult skin" and I freaked out. I don't want to be an adult, really.
Aside from this little crisis, the world's been kind to me. I woke up to find that my niece had prepared breakfast for me...I mean, she left cereal, a glass of milk, a bowl and a spoon on the table. Also a waffle, sugar and another glass of milk, just so I wouldn't have to prepare my nephew's breakfast. She also left me a note, with the drawing of a toothy Simeon, saying happy birthday, I'll you after school...and added a few lines from dumb and dumber that've become the rage in this house ("look, Lloyd, there's some people who want a ride, too!").
It seems my nephew and I may stay until january 31st. That way I don't have to reschedule my university appointment and we'll have no trouble with the legal stuff concerning my nephew traveling. Now I only have to get $200, which my brother and sister in law are kindly willing to provide, and make a phone call to see if I can change the date of the flight.
I like it how the obstacles are narrowing down, since I started to think about it like three days ago. My brother Carlos is completely supportive, too, and he even said well, since you only live once, or so people who don't give a damn about reincarnation or want to get away with wrecking the place say, if it's just matter of money, I'll help too, so you guys will stay until the 31st. Aaaaawww.
I've been asked what I want for my birthday. And I was told not to cook tonight. I keep saying I don't need anything, although I'd like to ask for The Beatles Past Masters II. We're going out for dinner tonight, but seriously, I wish they (brother and sister in law) didn't spend that much money on me...they'll already spend all that dough (ha, listen to me, saying that word) in the change of flight.
I intended to get all philosophical, but I honestly don't know how to articulate everything that's on my mind. I guess all I have to do is enjoy every second of my life. Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy dum.
But you see, I'm nothing. I'm not a teen anymore, but I'm not legally a grown-up yet either...suddenly I like being 20.
Ok, here's Joe's e-mail (he fucking knows I hate it when people tYpE LiKe ThIs). Despite of what he says at the end of it, I replied to it, since there's no rule that says "respect your youngster". I said that his poetic writing shocked me, and that probably when I get over that shock I'll thank him for taking the time to inspire like that. Meanwhile, let me say this: I would so love to hurt you right now.
Hi. Happy birthday.I imagine how you must feel: happy, because you've reached the peak of your life (maybe it's a dead-end), in which all your baby teeth are gone along with the pimples and other blessings that only youngsters (like me) can enjoy.
Don't worry, as [JC] says: "nothing's happening", but if I were you, I'd probably be in a deep depression, laying in my bed, remembering my childhood, my days as a young one, waiting inevitably for adulthood and the damn old age.
I mean, just think about it, your friends are starting to get married (and who knows, maybe you'll get married soon, too), to have children...to die.
Yes, unfortunately, that's life. Although you still have presents (vanity, vanity) to relieve that horrendous pain of not just arriving to another year of life and having one less to live at the same time, but also to reach 20 winters that went away so fast, and that should've been the longest of our lives (as a matter of fact, they are...ask the old ladies, they'll tell you that the 30s and 40s aren't felt, let alone the 50s).
I imagine that now "when I'm 64" doesn't seem so far away...yes, will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 20?.
But cheer up, not everything is the color of the lack of hope. You'll always have the memories, the pictures and the people that were beside you at 16, at 15, at 17, at 14, at 18, etc .It's not to make you sad, but it's some sort of mini-funeral, or rather the first of two funerals, of things in life you cannot get back. You know which they are (if not I can tell you: the joy of the youth and life).
In situations like this one one never's really done with saying "I'm so sorry" "so young and she's already 20", "seems like yesterday when she was 19", yes, things like that, tough and silly, like Martha.
Ok, this is all I could come up with.
Seriously, congratulations and enjoy your birthday much more than the previous one.
PS: PlEaSe dO nOt RePlY To tHIs eMaIL, dUe tO THe dElIcaTe mEntaL sItuAtIOn aNd TerrIbLE insult-wise susceptibility of the guy wHo wRoTe ThIs.
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