Never judge a day by the way it starts.
Monday, 09/24/01 - 8:11 p.m..

Lesson for today: you can't judge a day by the way it starts.

It started with a shit, I'm fuckin' late!. I felt bad. My virus (hi, flu) has been installed succesfully in my system and now I'm suffering. Well, I thought this was gonna be a crappy day. It certainly was. My period arrived and I felt worse. I was gonna call my dad to pick me up from school. But I happenned to ran into Dany and surprisingly he made me forget all about the fuckin' pain. That made my day so far. I so enjoy being with him. Plus, that made me stay away from both Carmen and Veronica. When I got back to the classroom, these people had decorated it...oh, God, it looked like a backyard party, with stuff hanging from the ceiling and a lot of flags.

Time flew. And it was time to go to have lunch. I had survived half day. I went down to buy lunch and got back upstairs. I ate with my friend Elisa and her boyfriend...man, that's a weird couple...but really fun to hang out with. We went to buy an ice cream...and best of all, I avoided Veronica's company. We're now watching Alive! in philosphy...I can't fuckin' believe it, Ethan Hawke is on every fuckin' movie we've watched at school..so to speak...Gattaca, The Dead Poets Society, White Fang, Alive...three hours of classes in the afternoon and by 4:20 I was back home. I had truly survived my period and depression.

Yeah, it started crappy. It was a crappy day. But not that bad. My computer teacher came late and we didn't have class. I'm...I'm starting to feel depressed again. I'm sorry. The main reason I wanted to go home early was because I didn't feel like dealing with people. I can't stand them anymore.

And the guy...well, I ran into him a lot today. I saw him many times. He did not see me back. I heard him singing and playing the guitar (he's in the choir)...I love his voice. Maybe I still love him. But that's useless. He does not love me back. And the girl he's in love with happens to be in the choir, too. I wonder how's he doing. And by the fuckin' way, she's the one who pissed me off with her irresponsability.

Today while watching the movie, she offered me to lie on her, as if she was a pillow, to be comfortable. She's a sweet girl, after all. Still irresponsable, but if you want to see the nice side...she's really nice and sweet. And I hate to say this, but I do understand why the guy is atracted to this...um, babe. On the other side of the universe, here I am. Alone. Getting a Depression Alert. With a Rockin' Pneumonia and a Boogie Woogie Flu. And when I'm sick, I get fuckin' thirsty. I'm one hell of a cactus and drinking water it's not part of my culture, althought I know how healthy it is.

I think I'll cry before I go to bed. I'm sick. Sick of going to school (while five months ago I was loving it...ok, at least I didn't want to get out). Sick of dealing with people and their motherfuckin' gossips and shallowness and stupidity. Sick of...being alone...at the same damn time.

Well, yes. You can't judge a day by the way it starts. Mine started crappily...passed by crappily...finished crappily. I woke up thinking it was gonna be shitty. It was shitty. But I still say you can't judge it, until it ends. It's ended for me. Now I can judge it...it pretty much sucked.

It's just that I...I...........I............nothing.

prev / next