Saturday, Feb. 24, 2024 - 6:28 pm.
We go back to work on Monday, after four glorious weeks of leisure...mostly. I was enraged to the point of tears a few times because I had to work, because we didn't go out anywhere like our peers, etc. But in hindsight, it's been a great summer.
The money we didn't spend going on holiday, we spent it on buying things for our apartment: a small piece of furniture, picture frames, stuff for decoration and storage. We ran errands, did some shopping (and got haircuts!) to update our looks. Of note, we found a store that has a "safe space" time slot, primarily aimed for neurodivergent shoppers, with low lights and smooth music at a low volume. I think Andrew and I very much neurotypical but we're immensely bothered by crowded spaces, bright lights and loud music, so that safe space thing was an exquisite shopping experience.
We wrapped up our summer last night by going to our favorite pub a few steps away from our building, with Andrew's long-time friends (who are also my friends, yeah). I'd seen their photos of them being on holiday, spending their days at the beach. That was the kind of photos that had sent me spiraling one or two weeks ago, as they made me feel left out because "everyone but me" had gone on holiday.
But we all know how social media doesn't show you the whole story. Before meeting up at the pub, these two friends had come to our apartment a few days prior in sore need to unwind. They'd had very rough weeks, and they told their stories with tears in their eyes and exhaustion. That finally made me snap: I had absolutely nothing to complain about regarding my summer.
There were burdens of unemployment, 40-minute-tantrums-at-the-mall by three-year-olds, getting your car totaled (while it was parked with no one inside, thankfully), and getting stuck in a cabin in the middle of nowhere trying to spend time with your partner and their children with no privacy for yourself and alongside a nasty teenager who gives you backhanded comments. Me? I struggled with reviewers' comments on a scientific manuscript. I was golden.
Plus, Andrew and I have our trip to my home country in May to look forward to. It'll be short, but hopefully we'll do some sightseeing and spend quality time with my family. Speaking of which, Niece #1 turns 30 today. THIRTY OMFG. I'm so proud of her. I wish I could see her and talk to her and know what she's up to.
And onto the quality time topic, Andrew and I have spent a lot of quality time together these four weeks. We've hung out with friends, gone out on errands and shopping and to see friends or family out of town, watched series and movies, had great non-heterosexual sex, great conversations, great meals, great laughs. I'm happy with our life, with the home we've created. I always go back to Sheffield and think that I will never as happy as I was back when we lived there. And that's true. Yet, I can say that I feel just as happy now. In a vastly different situation and for different reaseons, but I feel that same sense of fundamental joy that comes from just taking in your surroundings.
Andrew's terribly anxious about going back to work, though. I felt like that for a few days this week but then it passed (except for one financial situation in one of my projects, but I've given up worrying about it, at least for now). I'm kind of excited to go back, actually, which makes me feel like a huge nerd.
But also, I do resent going back to work because I truly have better things to do with my life.
This month I tried to catch up on my writing and drawing. I had six projects, I barely succeeded in finishing one. And just as vacations are coming to an end, I'm finding inspiration to create new stories. That's very me. Even on regular weekends when I've cleared everything so I can focus on writing or making a comic strip, I find myself fulfilling that purpose on Sunday at 4:30 pm, or even later. I suck. But anyway, at least I did take my time to do my thing. I put files and ideas in order and threw away most of my work obligations in favor of doodling, as I should.
In fact, I will go back to working on my doodles. Make the most of what's left before Monday comes. Bye for now.
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