Not quite succeeding, not entirely failing, at sciences, society, and the arts
Saturday, Sept. 22, 2018 - 10:07 am.

A busy week approaches, or I should say a busy "week" (and add a few days) has started. It includes attending events from the science-art festival in the city, a few social engagements, and lots of writing on my part.  

The festival started a couple of days ago. I have my shift at my supervisor's project stall on Monday, which I'm not entirely thrilled about because it involves interacting with people, but I'm happy to be part of this festival somehow. I'll be also going to two talks and one concert based on Antarctic sounds (<3) over the course of the week. 

I have few get-togethers this week: A birthday, a welcome-Chilean-students, and a farewell-PhD-friend. However, my biggest social engagement these days was last night, Andrew and I went to see the Arctic Monkeys. I'm not that big of fan, in fact, you could say I'm not a fan but I enjoy their music (I've been writing my thesis with their Tranquility base album as background music, it's perfect), and yet I ended up first row. In terms of comfort, it's the best concert I have ever attended, just because I could lean in against the fence. And I was far away from the madness of the mosh pit.

On our way back home, the tram was packed and people started singing songs. Monkeys songs, but also others I didn't recognize. All that was fine and dandy, except for a brief encounter with the horrid specimen White Entitled Male, the type that walks all over others and takes up all the space even if there isn't any left inside the tram. Fuck these people. 

Anyway, also, it's cool to see a band playing in their hometown. I hope they don't break up after this, or else my manuscript, on the hands of the publishing hands that's taking their sweet time to talk to me, will become irrelevant. Hurry up, publishing house (and don't break up, Arctic Monkeys). 

Now, writing: 

- My thesis is going slow, but it's going, and I'm happy to be able to focus on it. Like, that's my job, writing it. What a privilege, man. 

- I submitted my short story for the short story competition in the city's literary festival next month. I got confirmation they received it. Last night I realized I may have made a huge mistake by making the day of the story Saturday and not, say, Wednesday, and people who know the city nightlife (clearly, I don't) will be put off by the environment described. I still think it can happen, though, what I wrote, I've had similar experiences in the city. But I'm getting ahead. What matters right now is that I'm shortlisted, but that's now out of my hands. 

Speaking of privilege, I've been thinking of organizing an activity in the university. Of what, I don't know, I just know there's some funding available and the application is a breeze. As long as you have an idea. Which I don't. And it sucks, because I want to reach out, give back, do some public engagement. Writing alone won't get me an audience (DING-DING-DING, INSIGHT TIME!).

I got a little bitter because my friend Eric is applying to funding, too (from another source), to "continue our bi research idea". To be honest, I put that aspiration aside after our first and only meeting to discuss potential studies. I had put together a proposal which he didn't seem to have read, he brought three proposals of his own, and he kept adding to my ideas instead of acknowledging them, until he finally said *he* wanted to do something which I had said that *we* should do all along. Plus, he still says "gay marriage" and speaks in ways that refer to the LG but not the B. But, you know, not all the time. 

Look, he is an expert on LGBTQ issues. He's lived many of them, and he's amazing at engaging, from an academic and from an activism standpoint, so I don't doubt he'll do a great job with the research if he gets the funding. I'm just bitter because I didn't know he was going to go ahead with the research on bisexuality, and mostly because I'm out of that research which I wanted to do.

I'm aware of my gut feeling that it may not be a good idea working with him, but this situation touches on my bitterness about wanting to do something in/from academia (besides my PhD research, which no one but my examiners will read). It's not just my wanting, but also having my colleagues being so much better and skilled at actually doing something. 

Speaking of doing something, I'll go work on Brother #3's and my paper. If I could speed this shit up, we could submit it soon for publication in a journal. And, I'll be working on it drinking coffee at a pub while Andrew catches his Pokémon. Life is pretty sweet, overall. 

And tomorrow's Bisexual Visibility Day! I don't know what I'll be doing, but I'm bi. 

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