Sunday, Apr. 30, 2023 - 10:22 am.
It's good to be back to write in this little box. I've only skipped last weekend, but it's nice to have time again to sit down and sort my thoughts.
Helen is leaving this evening, after a two-week visit. It's been really nice, having her over. Very pleasant but not too hectic. I still look forward to going back to my routine though.
Helen and Andrew hit it off so well, bonding over complex family issues, videogames and Magic, cooking, Drag Race, and watching true crime documentaries. None of this is of my own doing, it happened naturally between them and that's been delightful. I guess it helps that they're both bi, they also bonded over queerness.
My work schedule is not very flexible so I could only meet with Helen for lunch and dinner, sometimes for a coffee. But Helen's very understanding and she always said I shouldn't worry, she was here to see me and to relax. She went on her own to a few museums and to do some shopping, she lounged around in our apartment, and she cooked lunch and/or dinner nearly everyday for us. She's an excellent cook too.
Last weekend, the three of us spent it at thermal springs and in an apartment in a small town surrounding a lake. It was a lovely time and the weather was magnificent, sunny and chilly with autumn leaves all over. After that weekend it all went downhill, it's been much colder and it's been raining a lot. But she's OK with it because she lives in a big Canadian city with the same weather, but without all the green that we have in this little city. That makes a difference.
I refrained from flirting with her, and all that comes after that. I knew she was hoping we'd get it on, but also I knew that she'd understand if we didn't, and that she'd follow my lead on how to treat each other. I was in a different mindspace over the week, really, either very focused or tired. And like I said before, I'm not sure I want the emotional commitment that involves fucking her, even if we're already friends.
Nevertheless, at times I found myself horny for her, but I refrained and kept a poker face on. Plus, I rarely was in conditions to stay at her place, and I didn't want to fool around with her in our and Andrew's apartment. I could've asked him what he was ok and wasn't ok with happening in our shared spaces (not the bedroom, never the bedroom), but again, I didn't want to do all that emotional work.
Still, in the evenings after work, the three of us would sit on the couch and hang out. I'd always sit in the middle, I guess they thought that's where I belonged. Also, both Andrew and Helen care a lot about me, so sometimes it felt indeed like I had two partners at home. There was no competion between them but a common goal that was my wellbeing or my being kindly laughed at. It was a heartwarming dynamic, I'm grateful for having people who love me and care for me that much.
She and I spent the day together yesterday, Saturday. Andrew spent his day with friends, while Helen and I went to the city centre to do some shopping and brunch. Then we went back to her apartment. Did I tell you I fucked Andrew in the morning? Well, I fucked Helen in the afternoon. I wasn't planning on either thing, but also, it's not that I didn't think about it every evening for two weeks when we'd sit on the couch with my thigh touching Andrew's, and my arm touching Helen's.
I got lucky, I guess. Really lucky.
And it turns out I'm good at it.
(I'm gonna go ahead and say I'm not fully sold on the threesome fantasy though. To execute it in a hot but fair manner, there's a shitload of psychological and interpersonal labor involved, and we've already established that I'm not interested in doing all that work)
So it's been two nice weeks! Helen says she had the time of her life. Andrew enjoyed the company. We all had fun. Everything went better than I had hoped for during her visit.
Now I'll go catch up on some things before it's time for her apart hotel check-out at noon. Then it's one last afternoon with her before we drive her to the airport.