One last go at the house and meeting older queer academics
Friday, May. 19, 2023 - 9:48 pm.

We put a new bid on the house we want, the one with the twisted story that involves someone dying. We swallowed our pride and increased our offer, stretching our financial possibilities even more.

We've seen a few apartments, including one that did catch our eye this week, but we always go back to thinking about a house. *That* house. If the owner refuses our offer, at least we'll know we did everything, absolutely everything that we could to get it. We fought the good fight.

Also, I met a queer elder today. It hit me that I didn't know older queer people, which just tells you how repressive this place can be. Anyway, he's a uni professor, Andrew's known him for years when he worked at a different unit, and I'd probably just said hi to him in passing. He's gay, probably one of the few openly queer staff in uni. We've both been called to be in a review committee for a local conference on gender and higher education, and we had our first meeting today.

After that meeting, Andrew and I had plans to go for coffee, so I invited this professor to join us. He's in his 60s and while he talks a lot, he has a very soft manner. He seemed to be very fond of me, possibly because (1) he associated me with Andrew, whom the professor also seemed to be very fond of, and (2) he knew about my line of research and that made me safe to his eyes. Or maybe he's just that kind of person that looks at you fondly.

Whatever the reason, over coffee he opened up to us about his struggles with antidepressants and spoke of being lonely. We learned he'd had a boyfriend for 18 years (who also had a family on the side), but he'd died in a car accident. Jesus Christ. I thought about my friend Eric from Sheffield, whose long-time boyfriend also died tragically due to a... cardiovascular event, if I recall correctly? It's heartbreaking.

I hope the professor and I can meet more often and maybe become friends. There was something about him that broke my heart, perhaps the admission of loneliness. He has so many interesting stories and he's seen so much, he's been through some shit. It would be nice to have lunch or something.

Two quick things:

1. My family's doing well, Brother #1 went to visit my parents' this week and he turns fifty-something(!) this weekend. Bless him.

2. I'm almost done with my beginner's course on sign language. It turns out I'm good at it! Or at least I enjoy it. This week I attended a uni event in which they had a sign language translator and I caught some things and I learned more vocabulary. I can now tell Andrew in sign language that his birthday is coming up in June (it's true!) and ask him if he'd like us to book a cabin or a hotel room to go relax. Yay! (also said in sign language).

Have a good weekend!

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