From 10 people who watch TV, 5 are half of them.
From 4 people I was worried about their grades, only 1 succeeded.

Sad but true. Only Veronica passed this year. Melvin failed english, Carmen failed math and the guy....failed english, math and another one. And he's the one that's going to make me fat.

I didn't think it was true, but girls do eat a lot when a man dissapoints them. It's pathetic.

It goes like this...he failed three subjects. That means he's out of school. But he chose to repeat junior high! Wow, why didn't I see that coming? I thought of the possibility that he might pass...OR that he might fail and go to summer school...OR that he might get thrown out of school. But never that he might repeat. And that's awful. That's truly awful. I wasn't ready for that.

He called me. Because he wanted me to make him "feel better". I said no, I won't do that. Not that way. He tried to make me do it, but I didn't do it. We talked for a little while and we hung up. He called again saying that he was sorry for calling again but he was feeling really hot. I said go to hell...in a kind way. Eventually he gave up. I felt sorry for him because he said that that'd make him happy, at least for a few moments but...nah. That wouldn't have solved anything. Plus, I did not want to do it. Period.

Then I started thinking....My God, he's not graduating with me...He won't play the guitar and sing in our choir anymore....he's....he's not going to be with me. With us. With the class of 2002. And I felt helpless. Powerless. Pointless. Dissapointed. Not because I expected that we'd end up being a couple or something. Yesterday I felt that I was not in love with him anymore. And it was the first time I felt that while talking to him.

It's because throughout my school life (I entered in that school in 1991, when I was 6 years old) I've lost many, many people. They get kicked out, they leave the country or they (or their parents) simply decide to go to another school. And here's yet another one.

The guy has still a chance to stay at school, if he passes summer school but he'll repeat. That's traumatic, specially this time, next year. When we're all hugging and crying the last day of school he won't be with us. He still will be in 10th grade, watching us and thinking I was supposed to be there. He could have gone to another school. But he chose to stay and repeat. I couldn't tell him leave this school, why are you staying?. Maybe because I'd choose to stay, too, even if I had to repeat the year. Claudia (Norman's girlfriend) did last year. She was in 9th grade this year, so she'll be in 10th grade next one. Although she's the oldest from all of us (almost 18) she's not with us. I hope she passed this year, so at least she can keep company with him. But even if he fails summer school and goes to another school, it's going to be pretty much the same. All roads lead to the same point: whether he stays or he leaves...I'm not graduating with him. And that hurts. I want to cry but I just can't. I guess I ran out of tears. And therefore, there's only one thing to do.

Now I understand Fran Fine.

if Carmen fails math...and if Melvin fails english...that's it. I know when we graduate we all will have to go our separate ways but that's the normal course of life. You're supposed to go on separate ways when you graduate. It won't be the same if they're not here this upcoming year. Not because I'm always with them, it's...it's what I'm used to. They're part of my dialy enviroment, they're part of my life. How the fuck can that change? And just because they did a little, an insignificant mistake.

Changing subject...I'm thinking about gettin Jagged Little Pill. I watched today an Alanis Morissette top 5, with two "extra clips", and 5 out of those seven songs were from that album. I don't like how she is now. I don't know exactly why. Not that I expected that she's going to be always raging but the feeling is gone. I'm horribly obssessed with Aerosmith (yet it's a sweet emotion -*standing ovation by Simeon*-) and I wouldn't trade them for anything, but it wouldn't be bad to have another artist without having to worry and dying for meeting and getting all the stuff related to that artist. So maybe I'll get that album. Maybe. Probably in three days that idea will fade away just like the Gorillaz idea.

- That's different. Gorillaz doesn't even exist.
- They do exist. Somehow. But I think I was more into their looks than into their music. I'm glad I didn't buy that album.

That's it, I'll go now. My bags are almost packed. I was wondering if I should take my Calvin & Hobbes book. I won't, I'll get another one. As for The Sims...
a) my bro's computer is too slow for that
b) I still remember A.I..

I'm taking a lot of Aerosmith CDs, I couldn't choose just three. I'm taking Simeon and the whole gang. I haven't decided whether to take any other Aerosmith tape besides the new one and the one I'm using...a filled one, like The Making Of Pump, Aerosmith 3x5 or my Homemade Tape that took me 4 years to fill but has many priceless stuff.

You've already won me over in spite of me
Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

No, I don't love him anymore. But I wish I'd have been given the chance to dedicate this song to him.

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