Saturday, 07/27/02 - 10:03 pm.
The first part of my day was really crappy. We were going to the orphanage. We were told to be at school at 7:30. By 8:20, just 12 people had showed up. We told Hector to call Karla, the "leader", who just happened to have not showed up yet. She was still at home. She arrived at 8:40 at told us that we were not going to the orphanage, because...well, they had something else scheduled there. I wanted to insult her and punch her, for being so irresponsible. She could've at least let us know, since she found out about it the day before .
Instead, she took us to work on some shit for this tuesday's mass. It all made sense to me: she used us. She didn't have the urge to arrive early, because we weren't going anywhere...she knew that, but just didn't let us know.
It was the most eternal morning I've ever gone through. So boring, I was just with Adriana and I missed some people (the usual pastoral gang was out of town, in some religious activity), none of the ones that had showed up were the kind of groups I hang out with. I was so fuckin' pissed off.
Denv wasn't invited to that activity (just a few were) and since he's in the same social service group as me, I had taken for granted he'd show up. But he didn't. When it was 8:10 am, I heard in my head he won't come. And I was convinced, and I stopped hoping. His absense made it all even crappier. So, so much crappier. I needed to be with him. I need him to want to be with me.
Eventually I kind of forgot about him, since I was working with Ricardo, Cory and Victor and they were gay-ing around. So cute. Speaking about the "long light things" in Star Wars.
In the afternoon, Art and Cel came over. Everybody at home was going out so it was just them and me. It was so fuckin' cool. We listened to rock music (Aerosmith's masterpiece, Rocks) in my bedroom, we read books about animals, we drank milk, ate chips and chocolates, examined my little treasures (you know, little weird things you collect through the years)...I'd never been able to share my bedroom with more than one friend at a time, let alone a boy friend (maybe I had, but this time was the best). I'd always wanted to listen to music in my bedroom, with my best friends. They stayed longer because a huge storm was on its way.
My parents already know them, and were very kind to them. They invited them for dinner and such. They did stay. And we watched part of Star Wars - Episode I on channel 6. We also ate cake because we were celebrating my parents 34th anniversary. Art's mom (it's actually his aunt, he lost his mother when he was born) picked him up. We drove Cel home and I got to meet her mom. I'll go to her house one of these days, I'm already invited. My friendship with them is so fuckin' cool. Mom, have you seen Arturo's cap?...I love the fact that I can mention the name of a boy who's a friend of mine to my parents and they know him and actually like him.
My only regret is that Denv was online when I was with them. Of course I wasn't going to start talking to him, one has to be a good host. I logged off (I had set "appear offline" but somehow it turned into "online" again). But I realized that he really didn't care I was on, or else he would've sent me a message. *sigh* He doesn't like me, he doesn't, he doesn't, he doesn't....I can't get that fact in my fuckin' head.
My kids, Renan and Rebeca, are leaving tomorrow, getting back to Houston. I don't want to go to the airport, but Renan made me promise him I would. So up I go, at 5 o' clock in the morning. I'm sad. Just sad about them leaving. Really sad.
I wish Denv logged in. I wanted to insult him in the morning, because he's a fuckin' lazy guy and his balls are too heavy and just couldn't go to school to work on his own social service (yeah, well...I'm upset about him not showing up because I wanted to be with him and I missed him and I felt empty), now I just....I just need him. I wish he logged in because I miss him and I can insult him and his response is just "thanks, I love you, too". God, I am so very lame.
I have to look for Art's cap (no, I haven't found it) and I'll get some sleep. Though nothing will prepare me for tomorrow's farewell. Life is always taking away people I love....well, no. Not really. It's just that life always denies me the object of my affection. But there is just ONE thing that I wish for my family and the people I love (huh, basically, the people I love is family to me)...and it's them to be safe. No matter how far away they are from me, I just wish and pray for them to be safe.
Do you remember DJ Bobo? A song of his is on right now. Do you remember Jimmy Ray? His CD was at the store, but neither The White Stripes, The Strokes nor The Hives were.