Friday, 09/02/05 - 10:43 am.
I went to the post office this morning. Then I went to my boyfriend's house, where I spent nearly two hours. Clothes never came off, but I had to endure fingers.
I don't know if something's wrong with me, I don't quite like it. The fingers, I mean. I endure it for him. He's respectful, he asks me how I feel, if I want him to stop. He stops when I ask him to...but I wish I could enjoy it as much as he does, as much as he wants me to. I was about to tell him "let's go all the way" (ok, ok, my body and I are split on this sex thing: my body is quickly ready, whereas I try histerically to avoid it) but I had to come back home and work on assignments.
However, it was lovely. I woke him up, we talked. He took a shower (I remained outside his bathroom) and we talked some more. Just stuff. Then we got into some action. Then, hours later, many hours later, in the afternoon, I saw him for like 20 minutes before class.
I seriously love this guy.
I'm not really in the mood to write, though, strangely enough. I have things to talk about, but I'm very lazy right now. Even though I'd like to talk about my new crush in campus. And about a guy I met when I was in high school and he was in like 7th grade, and I saw him today, years later. Perhaps I'd have considered him a love interest if there hadn't been such distance in our ages. But I only realized that today, when he called my name. He's in high school now. If I'm not mistaken, he'll be graduating this year.
Victor says I look exhausted. I feel overwhelmed...ok, maybe a little exhausted. I won't even go swimming tomorrow morning (oh, the guilt), because it's been raining all day and I want to sleep in. But I won't get to sleep in because I need to go to the university library to keep reading newspapers.
Ok, I'm really tired, but I feel sorta happy, too. For the most part, I'm doing what I love, psychology-wise. I'm a good driver now and I'm not afraid of taking the car anymore; I have a slight sex life with a man who adores me and I'm in love with. And etc. I guess I should dedicate an entry to count my blessings. I'm in a very good point in my life right now, free of that odd mix of melancholy and self-destruction and isolation I used to carry on my shoulders, while walking around school.