Sunday, 04/26/09 - 6:48 pm.
Last night was lame. I went with CR to see a couple of bands. His two best girl friends were going to come along but they bailed out at the last minute, as they always do. The bands were a little boring and, as usual, I had to pay for everything because CR is broke. The only highlight is that I met one of the musicians, who's awesome looking and has played everytime I've been there, but it was just a hi and he didn't care for me.
The night improved by almost midnight, because Art was online and he's by all means a reason for me to smile.
I was supposed to go to the tattoo studio this afternoon, but CR never called. I'm determined to get it this week, I've been putting it off for too long.
My old friend Sulley called me this morning. She was in a neighbor neighborhood, in a park, so I went for her and we went for coffee. We'd never gone out like that, we only hung out at the university, so it was great. In fact, she might come with me to get the tattoo when the times come. I need a female friend. Sometimes I get tired of CR and his astral monologues. I also thought he'd be a door for me to meet other people, but he's past that stage in life. I suppose I need to expand my circle of friends.
Anyway, I told Sulley the whole Joseph story. And by the way, right now his wife is online and her nickname is, "I love you, my life". Ouch, fuck. My ego keeps hurting.
And yet...you know, Angie is so pissed off at what he did to me; I told her that I talked to Joseph's wife and she couldn't believe "that fucker and her bitch". I embrace her solidarity and I repeat those names. But all I can think of, in reply to her, is, "what did he do to me? He just broke up with me and went on with his life". I wish I could be mad at him, at her; I do get mad sometimes but I wish I could see reasons for that and I wish I could seek revenge and have it. But I'm seeing things as they are. Of course it hurts so much that he married someone else, and so, so quickly; it hurts to know she's not just a rebound, this is it for him. It hurts me so much, but I do not know what to do with this pain; I wish them bad, that is all I'm capable of doing. I have tried to write something with all this but I can't really articulate anything.