Tuesday, 08/11/09 - 4:08 pm.
This morning I...I can't think of an expression to describe how I felt when I saw Joseph across the street, coming my way, on my way to work. I saw him: tall, skinny, slightly hunched, black t-shirt, blue jeans, a black wristband (though he, like me, uses one on each wrist). And I knew he'd seen me. My heart ripped my skin open and jumped out of my chest, shattering my ribcage. But then I adjusted my vision and realized it was not him. Fuck. My coward soul returned to my body. But I felt shaky for the rest of my 10-minute journey to work.
On lighter news, after work I'm getting together with my friend Ana. I think we're going for pizza, yay. I hope it's not awkward...even though we've met face to face, talked online and we've read each other's stories, we've never been out together just the two of us. But I see potential for a cool friendship; plus, I promised I'd be her wingwoman, now that she's visiting from Mexico, where she's getting a master's degree. I'll ask her to come with me to the supermarket before going for dinner, because there's a board of directors meeting on thursday and I'm the food provider, ugh. They're good people, but I hate having to feed them and staying until 8:30 pm one thursday per month to write down everything that's said in the meeting.
I'm trying to see my job not as such, but just a way to be outside the house all day and make money to support my beloved children: the psychology clinic and Simeon. Work has been awesome today, because everybody's been busy on endless meetings and nobody bothers me; so it's felt like I'm doing things I'd do at home...proof is that I'm even writing in my diary. I was also able to come up with, draw and upload a tiny Simeon cartoon. My wireless tablet pen is crushed but I took advantage of the office scanner. Also, I've been eating a lot because for the endless meetings they order food for everybody, even though I'm not taking part of it. Score!
These two days I feel like I've gotten over Lighthouse, although last night I thought about him and I felt infatuated. I was tempted to complain about my lack of spare time after work this week (clinic monday and wednesday, Ana tonight, board of directors thursday) but hey, I like going out. It's a fact of nature that I lack energy and I suffer every morning when I have to get out of bed, but once outside, I say that it beats sitting at home spending time on the computer. There's a whole world out there, isn't there? Anyway, I'm saying this and I was talking about Lighthouse. I suppose I jumped to another topic on the same paragraph (tsk, tsk) because I have nothing else to say about him. He doesn't care about me. Period. No, wait. Sometimes I crave to see him..but he doesn't care about me. Now, yes, period.
prev / next