Friday, 09/11/09 - 7:55 pm.
I could have gone to Joe's jazz concert tonight, and perhaps bring Lighthouse along, had he been available. Instead, I'll stay home and rest, because I've been awfully sick.
I didn't go to work yesterday morning, and I went in late today. Yesterday was the worst, in terms of energy. I was drained and I had a stuffed nose, with slight headaches. Plus Board of Directors meeting, so I was off duty late at night. Tonight it's mostly my lungs and the coughing.
I could have gone, like I said, but I should stick to my better judgement. It's not worth it, anyway; the two aforementioned names make me want to go, but at the same time, those two names are nothing but an illusion to me. I do feel like getting dolled up and going out, but it'd be also nice to stay home and get some rest.
You know, it has come to my attention...my entries have become way, way too boy-centered. And that's probably been like this since Joseph broke up with me. I don't mean I think about boys all the time outside this entry box, it's that my entries are about boys most of the time. These two days my mind's been occupied with my illness, though, so I've barely thought about the boys.
I cut myself some slack, because it's not like I sit around with dreamy eyes and say "I wish I had a boyfriend" for the sake of having one. What I'm doing is hoping for a boy, a very specific boy...ok, two, just one of the two, whichever, to notice me and realize how awesome I am. In the eventuality that I'm awesome indeed. Because I think they are awesome, in their own way, and I like them.
I was talking to my friend Ana at the beggining of august, when she was visiting from Mexico, and we came to the conclusion that we both like guys involved in arts (she's an economist and a writer, a well known young writer). I like talking to her, and we have a lot of things in common. Went to the same school, to the same university, and she was Joe's instructor. She also says he's a very special, cute guy, and can't believe he wouldn't be interested in me, and instead he dated another writer (a writer that seems to highly dislike Ana, for reasons beyond human comprehension...this little world of writers is so full of envy, I don't get it).
Anyway. Joseph was not an artist, but he was a work of art in himself. He was very sui generis. I'd say the same about Joe or Lighthouse. Oh, hey, maybe that's what I'm looking for in a partner (he said it was ok to write about my ideal guy). Which makes me awfully picky, and highly likely to fail in finding someone, because I can't even define what I mean by that. It's just a plus in a person. Like, I know a few musicians, but I'm not romantically interested in them as I am in Joe or Lighthouse. It's not just because they are musicians. Still, Joseph is at the top of the SG list, even though -it just dawned on me- he's a little Paris Hilton-esque, in the sense that he doesn't really do anything. Good for him. Now let's change subject.
My friend Angie is married and on her honeymoon; I wish I could talk to her. Happy birthday, Angie; happy birthday, Michelle; happy birthday, Sister-In-Law #1. On other news, tomorrow I'm having lunch with Lorena, this new friend I've made, and that's pretty neat, she's pretty neat. And that's about it. I'm looking forward to having two days off after sunday, but I'm a little apprehensive because I have no plans yet. And of course, I wish my plans involved certain persons that couldn't care less about me.
I should really start applying to this university in Madrid. I gave in and I'm considering Spain. I say it like it's a bad thing, but I didn't want Spain; however, it's infinitely easier to get in there than Costa Rica. Go figure. I bawl at the thought of crossing the pond (I'm scared of flying) and leaving my whole family and life behind, in a different continent. I get anxious. BUT...I want my master's degree. I want to have a PhD someday. And the only way to get them is hard work and sacrifice. Word.