I love being with my boys and I buy them beer.
Sunday, 09/13/09 - 11:27 pm.

Right now, dear diary, I'm very tired. I'm tired because of all the fun had this evening with my boys, namely Lighthouse and CR. I have to admit, they drive me fucking nuts because they're so hard to find most of the times, not answering their phones, not replying to messages, or saying one thing and then doing another (like, not showing up!). But every once in a while, it all comes together and awesome trips like today's happen.

I didn't think it'd happen. Last night I called CR and his phone shut off in the middle of the conversation. Then Lighthouse called me, because they were together, and I thought it was neat that we were able to have a four-minute conversation. We agreed on doing something this afternoon, but then CR wasn't picking up his phone this morning. Lighthouse did but then I never heard back from him. I contacted them later, luckily.

Long story short: at 3:30 pm I was in the supermarket paying for one beercan for each guy, one chocolate milk for me and two chocolate bars; one just for Lighthouse because of his birthday, like, three weeks ago. Yes, I bought these out of the goodness of my heart, 'cause I love these two kids. The lady asked me to show her my ID, which was a compliment, but she also gave me a very serious look, like I was buying two six packs to get drunk with random male strangers. I went back to the parking lot, one car hit another, and later CR appeared and we promptly drove to Lighthouse's lighthouse (err, little mansion).

We watched bits of Gladiator; they drank their beer, I drank my chocolate milk (man, it was so good). They smoked weed, I played on his strangely tiny electronica-ish piano and then we watched this australian western movie that was awesome but also very brutal at times. Then we hopped on into my car to go have dinner and talked about wrestling, and then I took Lighthouse home and then CR home. And then I brought myself home. All this within four hours.

I do fear, though, that maybe my goodbye to Lighthouse was very quick, almost rude. I just pulled in front of his driveway, creating a situation that by all means meant "ok, you can get out now". And let it be known, I always dread our goodbyes. Still, goodbyes and thanks yous were wholeheartedly expressed, though I hate leaving without an excuse to see us next time. I do have a couple: movies, guitar strings, videogames...but I said nothing.

Don't get me wrong. I'm past my crush on him, and it feels liberating. I even think we speak more over the phone than when we are face to face. He may think I'm a bit boring, but I enjoy spending time with him, and I would so very much be glad if our time together was longer. But, I don't need for this to evolve into something else. And it couldn't, anyway, even if we wanted to.

Oh, well. It was great! These boys make my day. And now, I'll go undo these curls and fall asleep, incredibly excited over the fact that tomorrow and on tuesday I'm not going to work. And I have to get some very important things done.

prev / next