Thursday, 12.16.2010 - 4:01 pm.
My unconscious had dropped the Joseph subject for a while now. Until last night. It was a very short dream, more like a sub-dream inside a bigger one. My dreams have this weird plots and I guess he was just making a cameo.
I walked into a cafeteria on the second floor of some place...wait, I'd dreamed of this set-up before. Anyway, I saw him sitting in a corner, reading a book. He had grown his hair. His is pretty much curly but in my dream he had it straight and face-length, like Jack White's (I love Jack White). He seemed bothered by my presence but still acted like he didn't see me. I sat with my back to him, with some friends, a few tables away. As I sat down, he got up and walked me by, leaving the place.
I felt awful.
The end.
***
I am one week away from going to Houston for 10 days, I'm happy about that. Except for the fact that I have to leave my dog and cat behind, although a very trusty relative of ours will come over and look after them during the night.
For now, I'm home alone. Well, with M, the housekeeper, it's just the two of us. My parents flew to Houston yesterday, along with Nephew #2 (my sister's son). They left me money for house expenses (bills, groceries, etc), since I come back on January 2nd, while they come back at the end of January. I love my parents, but not having them around makes me feel free. I can't say it's entirely a grown-up thing, because M does most of the chores and money has been handed to me. But I still take it as an exercise in adulthood and responsibility.
Aside from my parents and nephew leaving, Brother #3 took a plane the day before, to Spain, to be with his wife. He'll be away for about three months, and it was strange that I didn't feel sad for his leaving. I mean, he's going across the pond for months.
Perhaps I'm used to parting ways with my siblings by now, they've come and go in my life for more than a decade. Perhaps, in the back of my mind, I'm sure it won't be the last time. But also, yesterday, I was watching Dawson's Creek (yeah, yeah) and someone says: "You're my brother! There are no goodbyes [between us]!". And I guess that's it. In my family we're very good at keeping in touch with each other, over e-mails and phone calls. It's not the same than being around but it's very, very, very comforting.
***
Yesterday I was getting ready for work, after saying goodbye to my parents, who left at the break of dawn. I got a phone call from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs regarding my scholarship application for Chile. Something needed to be corrected and I needed my mentor W for that. He didn't pick up the phone for most of the morning, Mondays are busy for him.
Looong, excruciating story short, I picked him up at noon somewhere, he skipped his lunch time and we went to the university he works at as coordinator of the master's program, to get a letterheard and a seal. The people in charge of the letterheard and seal were in a meeting or at lunch, but W went to look for them. At 1 pm, I was dropping him off at the clinic, grateful for what he's done for me, and at 2:30 pm, I was at home, after dropping the new documents off at the Ministry.
I was so scared my application was going to lose points for this. But on the plus side, they called to notify me...they wouldn't have done that and waited for the correction if they didn't care for me, right? They could have just dismissed the application. Throughout the morning, I was very nervous but I kept telling myself I was going to pull it off by the end of the day, I just needed to keep going and not be discouraged by any obstacle. When we got to W's office and there was no one around, I didn't panic. But also seeing W so invested in finding what I needed was very reassuring.
***
Q texted me on Tuesday, asking me if I wanted to go to the movies. I couldn't that evening, so I asked him if we could reschedule. He said today, but he'd call. He did, a while ago.
Holy shit, he's picking me up in a couple of hours! Holy shit, I have a date! My first fucking formal date. A guy I barely know who's interested in me comes to pick me up and takes me out to the movies. That's unheard of in my life.