Monday, 02.28.2011 - 10:09 am.
I'm getting on a plane in a few hours. Last night was very emotional. The whole day, actually...it was long but I got to spend it with my family and with Q, who is also part of my family.
He and I went out at night for the last time. We made love, I reached climax and then I broke down. It started to hit me, everything came to my heart and it broke. An hour earlier, Nephew #3 pulled me and hugged me hard as he cried on my shoulder...he's turning 15 in a couple of months, he's as tall as I am, and above all, such a nice kid. Today I say goodbye to my parents and Brother #3 at the airport.
Q tried to comfort me and later told me that he really liked me, although he wasn't very affectionate and may have not shown it at times. He was crying a little, though. I couldn't articulate much but I managed to thank him for taking care of me. These two months with him were very fun and sweet.
I am heartbroken over leaving my friends and family, my home. I pray to God they'll be safe, that's all I ask for (so little and yet so much). But on the bright side, I'm ready to go. I need a change of scenery, a change in my life. I want to see the world and become a better person.
And I got my wish. Everybody knows I tried so hard for so long, and here are the results. It's Joseph's birthday today and that's the least of my worries ...although I think, "he must thik 'she's leaving today -assuming he knows- and that's the least of my worries". There's no time for hurt egoes, is there?