Sunday, 10.23.2011 - 7:58 pm.
Three very important things to write about, and the first two, ironically, kept me from writing this week:
1. My friend Rod came to visit me!
This diary is a decade old, and some of the people mentioned in the first years of it are still in my life. One of them is Rod, a good friend from high school. We were classmates and we've had a long lasting friendship throughout the years.
He works at an airline and he got a sweet deal for his annual vacations, and got his plane tickets at a ridiculous price. He hit Colombia and then Chile, and made the huge effort to travel 12 hours by bus, during daylight, just to spend a couple of days with me.
It was so great being with an old friend, and for the first time I got to offer my home to someone I've known and be a good hostess (I've learned from my brothers, who treat me with love when I go visit them in the US). Rod and Andrew got along very well, and I was delighted. I told Andrew that Rod was a great example of how the people I call my friends are.
Andrew and I went to pick Rod up at the bus station on wednesday at 6 pm. We had sushi that night, and the following days we went to the Pablo Neruda museum, the Araucania museum, the municipal market and walked around campus and nearby neighborhoods. We caught up on our lives and stayed up late. Ate a lot, drank wine, went souvenir-shopping, hung out with another friend of Andrew's and mine, July, who's a wonderful companion and always has stories for foreigners like us who want to learn about this wonderful land they're standing on.
I also got to see Andrew being a wonderful host and cook (I know he's like that, we've had his friends over before), aside from being very helpful: he made Rod a full itinerary on Google Maps with commentary, bought Skype credit so he could call home, and gave him his metro card so Rod wouldn't have to buy tickets. He has a heart of gold and he made a good impression on Rod.
Rod left on saturday morning, for another 12-hour trip back to Santiago, where he'd enjoy the last leg of his vacation tour. It was only two days but they were lived to the fullest, so I got the feeling he stayed longer than that. I was very happy to have him over and Andrew thanked Rod for that.
I came home and I felt this emptiness, I really missed him, and still do. I actually got quite emotional on our way from the bus station, mainly because the toddler next to us was crying for his mommy (Andrew and I had seen this family say goodbye at the station). He was like that for almost 15 minutes and it made me too emotional: on top of it, I was seeing homeless dogs and thinking about my family, and the possibility of not returning to live in my own country after I finish my degree here (that deserves an exclusive entry). I had a hard time fighting the tears and I hid them by looking out the window the whole time.
But anyway! I was so glad and thankful that Rod came to visit me. It was like having a piece of all the things I call home, childhood home, with me for a little while.
2. A new laptop.
The morning after Rod arrived, my computer died. I'd bought a hard drive a week ago because that was a problem, but it turns out Windows itself was corrupt. Because Rod was here I didn't give it much attention and spent offline a good portion of these two days. I didn't miss it that much.
I told my parents to explain that they may not hear from me for a while but they replied by sending me money for a new one. I feel so bad that I'm taking money from them but, of course, also grateful that they look after me. They insisted and said that's what their savings were for, and knew I couldn't do my job without a laptop.
After saying goodbye to Rod, Andrew and I headed to buy one. He helped me read all the specifications until we picked one that worked well and was affordable. I'm still sending the other for repairs and perhaps if it's well repaired when returned, Andrew will keep it.
By the way, that saturday afternoon he and I engaged in bedroom activities that we had not enjoyed in quite a while. It was awesome and I'm in awe by how passionate I am for him and viceversa. We do it quickly every few mornings or we don't do it at all for days because we're tired or busy. And in general, my sex drive is not very constant. But I love how in that sense we work together perfectly. It was wonderful, just wonderful.
3. The anniversary.
October 18th marks the anniversary of Joseph breaking up with me, three years ago. It is bad that I feel the need to point this out, yes, but it's possibly the last year I care that much. I will remember of course, but...meh.
I feel great now, more than satisfied with the way things have turned out. I have to take credit for this, because even in the most excruciating moments of this emotional torture, I kept going. I continued dreaming of a future, writing, meeting people...
I'm coming to terms with Joseph, I guess, although I have no desire to ever get in touch with him or hear from him. I kind of do, but mostly I don't because there's nothing left to say or do about what happened.
Last week there was a storm in my country that lasted 9 days, and I wondered if he had been evacuated with his wife and baby and parents, or if he was staying at his in-laws' for safety. I admit I felt anguish, and I felt the need to tell him I really hoped he and his family were out of the way of danger. Of course, I kept those wishes to myself.
On the 18th, I purposely listened this Paul McCartney song, "here today", dedicated to John Lennon:
And if I said
I really knew you well
what would your answer be?
If you were here today.
And my favorite lines:
you'd probably laugh
and say that we were worlds apart [!]
if you were here today.
And if I say
I really loved
and I was glad you came along...
That's all that's left, right? I have moved on, pretty much. He quickly found a woman that made him happy and I had to be kicked out, so be it. I finally found a man who's an infinite blessing in my life and I hope will be for the rest of it. I have my scars and they will itch, sometimes painfully, but that is all. The pain may come but will also go. This is finally over.
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