Saturday, Jan. 18, 2020 - 6:44 pm.
Today was the first day of the month in which I didn't have to wake up at a fixed hour. It's a small thing, but it was a worthy thought when I woke up this morning without a rush or an agenda for the day. It doesn't even feel like I ever went to my home country, though, it doesn't feel like I was there just at the start of this week.
I haven't had trouble adjusting after the trip. I went to work the next day, or at least to catch up with work. My boss got me my new contract and I'll be earning a little more than double than what I'm earning now...which is still not a lot in this economy, but it's Andrew's current salary and my own combined, and we've been managing with that amount. Not looking forward to working 44 hours a week, though. I think it'll be 40 hours in a few years, thanks to some legislation. Let people have leisure time, dammit.
Yesterday I found out that Andrew hasn't submitted the form to enter the adoption process. I was angry and disappointed to tears, and he knows that and understands why, but he still hasn't corrected that. He's all distressed and terrified because of his job situation. He didn't get the academic job he'd applied for a few weeks ago. He has a mindnumbing part-time gig at uni that ends in May, though he may resign before that if they go overboard with being stupid on him. At the moment, there's no work for him in sight, though qualified people like him are sorely needed. It's infuriating and heartbreaking.
I'm lucky my boss appreciates me to the point of keeping me around and increasing my pay, otherwise we'd be absolutely screwed. So I can understand why Andrew hasn't submitted the adoption form. The form does not mean we'll get a child delivered through Amazon in the upcoming days though, it's just to join a waiting list to attend an introductory talk. I hope he fills in the form soon (you may remember that I filled in that form months ago, but the social worker in charge has disastrous communication skills).
That's us at the moment. I have some certainties which Andrew share, because he doesn't have ones of his own right now. I'll be able to support the two of us should he decide to resign from this current gig that pays badly and makes him unhappy; I'm all for him quitting and those people can fuck right off, but I also know that unemployment is no fun. I hope things will look up in the next couple of months. Somehow.
On lighter news: I have two papers due to be published soon! One study from my PhD comes out in a journal from my home country this or next month, and the paper I wrote with Brother #3 comes out in April in a bigger but still modest journal. I also submitted another paper from my PhD to a big-league journal (the only ones that matter in your CV, fuck that academic ivory tower), and before going to my home country I submitted my manuscript to a Spanish publisher. I'm feeling optimistic about the magnificent quality of these two submissions, but you know how these things are. I'm just hoping for the best.
Oh, hey, I turn 35 tomorrow. Jesus Fucking Christ. And to think that I started this diary when I was 17. It's not that I've had the most thrilling life ever, but it does feel like I've lived through several lifetimes. It feels nice. I do think I've come a long way and I'm a decent person.