Friday, Jan. 20, 2023 - 10:02 pm.
I turned 38 yesterday. It's crazy to think I've been writing in this little box since I was 17. Oh, and it's Niece #2's 9th birthday today :3
It was a good day, my birthday. I had a lot of work to do, but Andrew made it a special day by: 1. making me pancakes for breakfast; 2. coming with me to run a lunchtime errand at the bank and getting us bagels for lunch to eat them in the car; and 3. getting sushi for dinner. It was all about food, man, and I live for it.
He also gave me a fancy little backpack and got me a personalized online make-up course. The latter makes me anxious, but I did say once that I'd love to know how to play with make-up. In the end, this is a gift that gets me out of my comfort zone, and let's remember that David Bowie said that the magic starts to happen when you get out of your comfort zone.
On Tuesday I got the results from my CT scans regarding my ribcage. No fracture, everything looks fine. I appreciate that the doctor took me seriously enough (I got major pain from a hand grazing my side) to send me to find out what I don't have. But I'd have liked a more detailed explanation of what I do have and how that works.
The doctor said it was probably a twisted nerve or something, maybe I'm not even translating it correctly. But the pain should be gone by the end of the month. I have felt like the pain is receding, but it comes back from time to time. I want to go back to my exercise routine. I was doing so well until the pain hit, but I remind myself to be compassionate and take care of myself and listen to what my body needs. I may be gaining weight but the right side of my body is in pain if I exercise. Gotta let it heal.
Currently I am: quite possibly down with covid, again. There have been outbreaks in different units across campus. No one follows any measures anymore here and I myself was resigned to relax.
As I'm in the process of joining the Psych Department, I was invited to a day-long retreat to work on its development plan. That was this Wednesday, out on the countryside. It had its nice moments: everything was green around us, I got to talk to people, food was OK. It had not so great moments, mostly due to the work climate in the department and partly due to ridiculous collective "synchrony" exercises. All that's bigger than me, though, and I just try to be nice to everybody.
Anyway, the next day, yesterday, we got an email that the secretary of the department was down with covid. I had no contact with her, but a lot of people from the department did (she didn't attend the retreat, now I know why). I did think at some point that this retreat was gonna be a superspreader event. But people act like covid is just a cold, so all department activities have carried on as normal. Lovely.
Andrew and I started to feel like crap today. He thought it probably wasn't covid, which is what we thought during our umpteenth scare throughout 2020-2022 and the one time it turned out it *was* covid. I think it is this time too, because we both feel like crap but in different ways, with different symptoms.
My major concern is, of course, that I've had contact with several people yesterday and today, before I got the email and before I started feeling bad. My number one concern is my boss/colleague/mentor, B, who came by my office yesterday to wish me a happy birthday; she's part of a high-risk population because she used to be a heavy smoker. And I met with my thesis student, and saw some colleagues and the secretary from the Psych PhD program who I'm very fond of.
I feel worried, responsible and even ashamed. I hope they're OK and virus-free.
We can still be optimistic with Andrew and say, hey, maybe it's just a cold. One of my thesis students who works in another unit in uni got tested because there was an outbreak in that unit. She tested negative today but also had cold-like symptoms. Jesus Christ. I just hate how unpredictable this virus is.
We'll get tested tomorrow and then it's lockdown mode on all weekened.