Monday, 02/25/02 - 6:35 pm.
I didn't see the guy with a girl today. He was either completely alone or with any other friend. False alarm? A one-night-stand? Whatever. Because anyways, he's still unreachable to me, so I'll keep pretending he's got a girlfriend. Screw you, kid.
Speaking of him, I'd been atracted to Ricardo (his best friend) these past days. Not romantically or anything, he just seems to be a hilarious kid to hang out with. Funny thing, Elsy is in the middle again. Cory, the guy, Arturo and now him...everytime I want to get close to a guy (only in the case of the guy is because of love, the rest is just the instinct of getting along with funny human beings) she's in the middle. It's weird. I mean, she barely knows I exist, so definitely she's not doing it to bother me. Weird shit of life, I guess. Anyway, I got over that feelling a few hours ago. I'm not one hell of a social being and I guess I can do without a person who doesn't care about me.
I'm truly dissapointed on me...I got 6.5 on my social studies exam...fuck. Shame, shame, shame on my laziness. I'm getting lamer and lamer everyday. Don't even mention math, I failed. My average is 5. Hell, don't look at me like that, Simeon. Only 10 out of 110 students passed math this month. Still, I feel mediocre for being part of the mass. Fuck it, I'll pick up myself off the ground and get myself together (Aerosmith, "line up"). What worries me in a near future though is what parental units will say about my math grade....blah, blah, blah, you know the drill.
But hey, out of the goodness of their heart, they bought me a chocolate milk-shake today. Aawww, aren't they the best? I feel my spirit is growing. Ok, besides apple pie and coffee, milk shakes also make me feel like I'm growing in spirit (don't laugh, Simeon). It's like...shit, I don't know. It just feels ok, ok? Good. *Simeon claps parental units for their humanity act*
I was really happy today, when the school bus got to the house of the Travesty Skeleton and she didn't get on it. Whooo-hooo, she's dead!!!, I thought. But nah, someone gave her a ride. I saw her at school. Damn you, travesty skeleton.
I really can't remember what else happened today, I've been....I don't know. Nothing is happening in my life, what's up with that? I hate feeling I'm wasting my youth. I should go bungee-jumping.
I finally learned the lesson. After observing the behavior of the high school student body, I've learned what are the rush hours for the girls' restroom. Conclusion: do not go when the bell rings for recess and a few minutes after that. That's the rush hour. Shit, females, the thing goes like this: you walk in, you do your bussines and then leave, in order for your fellow female to give her some space to proceed the same way. But what do they do?....they walk in, in groups (what the fuck for, anyway? Do they have one shared, collective bladder?) like a livestock, laughing, crowing like chickens. I swear one of these days I'll see feathers flying all over the place. They stand in front of the mirror and start to talk about gossips and shit, comb their hair, put a lot of make-up on, talk about the hot boy, yetta, yetta, yetta. It's all mindless crap. So I just wait and let them lay their stupid eggs. 8:36 and 9:42 are the ideal times to get in.
When you look up and people look at you, they look up, too. I once did that on recess and 18 people looked up to see what I was looking at. It's a good experiment to find out how many people notice you. Not many for me, since I sat in a place where people walk by often, and only 18 noticed I was looking up. People are too distracted to notice they're living.
I've been having a weird time lately. Not only because of the coincidences and shit, it's like...remember how I've been saying that there's nothing that helps me go through the day? Yeah, you probably don't. The idea is that I live by inertia. And as lame as it might sound...it seems I've gotten used to live by it. I mean, it's the same for me. I don't struggle like I used to, trying to find a true meaning to my day, something that'd help me go through it. I'm just used to live by inertia, and it shouldn't be that way. I'm wasting every second of my youth in inertia. On the other hand...I feel there's nothing I can do. When I wake up, it's like I haven't sleep. When I go to bed, it's like I've been sleeping forever and not tired.
Simeon, when I grow up, I want to be grown *Simeon claps*.
I can't believe how lame I am, I wish I was one happy worm. I still have that little hole that's screaming to be filled, that little feeling of being missing someone, something. That little feeling that I'm becoming inertia itself. It's all bothering me.
I always ask Frog what's up with her. I don't know why, since I really don't expect any response from her. And thank God I don't get one, or that'd be a bad sign for me. That's the only thing I need to be accepted in the mental assylum. I got to the conclusion though that even if she could, she wouldn't answer me because she's got voices in her, uh...cranium and she can't tell the difference between my voice and hers (what do you say, Simeon?...oh, c'mon...get a clue). You'll see, she doesn't have a brain. Her brain has been with Elvis since forever.
But Frog, you don't wear pants.
Da-mmit. I ran out of milk-shake. I'd better go. I wish I could get back to Houston and start looking for a decent place to get a degree in animation (that was quite spontaneous).
I asked God....ok, ok, I faxed him another document and I hope he's receiving it by now. I hope God FedEx'es me some help soon. Inertia is not that cool after it becomes the basis of your routine. I need to develop a routine-less routine.