Monday, 03/21/05 - 10:29 pm.
I had two dreams that kept interrupting each other (and both were interrupted by the arrival of my period very early in the morning). The first one was some sort of psychological nightmare, in which the government was following my dad and I, and we had to run away, and I kept trying to save my belongings, especially my Simeons notebooks. The soldiers destroyed my house, and my dad and I ended up running away to Costa Rica.
I blame this dream on my fear of losing my entries whenever Diaryland is in downtime. I've saved half of the entries in my hard drive by now, but still. It takes a downtime to make me snap and go back to saving the rest.
The second dream, was about Joe and me. These two dreams started with me being at a party, and running into Joe. We were hanging out, when somehow we got close and we were going to kiss, but he backed off. Somehow I knew it was because I had a boyfriend, but at the same time, I had no boyfriend in my dream. Then my dad picked me up, and we were stopped by cops on our way home, and they took away my journal (a real journal, in which I write when I -used to- cut or I'm pissed off or depressed), because it was a threat. And I cried and cried.
Joe was in a different dream, that kept interrupting the nightmare. The next time Joe appeared, we were again at some party...or at least it was a crowded place, and he was putting his arm around my waist, and tried to kiss me, but again he backed off when our lips were going to meet. That happened twice more. And that was it.
I blame this dream on my real curiosity about kissing him *cough*. But it's a curiosity that I don't want to fulfill.
Today I took the car to get something done near the house. It was all right.
You know, I was talking to Angel, when Joseph called. And at first everything was nice, and he was pissing me off in a playful way, but things eventually got ugly. Again.
And so, I see the possibility of breaking up, AGAIN, over incompatibility of characters. We're so different that I'm a disappointment to him. He had to hang up to "avoid things ending in a very unhappy way". So, yes, sure, I'm a boring nerd, the opposite to spontaneous and free, the opposite to Joseph. I'm full of flaws and I disguise them with impeccable grammar.