Get a hobby, dammit.
Friday, 8/02/02 - 7:01 pm.

I went to see Episode II this afternoon. I'm not a big Star Wars fan so it wasn't such a thrill for me. My sister (she was a teenager when the first three episodes came out) explained me the whole story on our way back home and only then I kind of got excited about the whole saga. She was very excited and said it was a great movie.

Me...I kept thinking about myself aging and remembering today in 10 years from now: back in my days, I went with my sister and my nephew to see Episode was big thing back then, we didn't have those devices you have now, but we were thankful for......blah, blah, blah...I don't know why, lately I've been feeling old. Do you think technology will be *that* developed when I'm 27 and I'll get to say we didn't have those devices...? Well, it might happen. I mean, back in my days, we only had Nintendo, now it's Game Cube and such. Now it's all about DVDs, when in my days it was only Viewmaster.

Sacred fuck, and I'm only 17!!!

Wait, I lost the point.....will I talk about my youth days and the Star Wars fever? That's pretty much what my siblings (and my father) do now. I'm gonna be as old as they are now, remembering how the intro music sent chills down my spine...

Well, not exactly to my spine. To the bones on the left side of my body, more properly. Like I said, I'm not a big fan. But it's a nice thing when the movie starts.


Hijo, a [ixo, a] nm/f son/daughter, child; ~s nmpl children, sons and daughters; ~ de pap�/mam� daddy's/mummy's boy; ~ de puta! (fam!) bastard (!), son of a bitch (!)

Yeah, I really have nothing interesting to tell.

Have you ever been so possessed by thoughts that you're not comfortable in any position when you're laying down? Since I'm on vacation (wednesday, that is), I wake up everyday rolling on my bed. I can't stand looking at the wall, I can't stand looking around my room, I can't stand looking at the ceiling, I can't stand laying my face on my pillow (besides, that's very dangerous for the breathing)....I can't stand closing my eyes. I can't go back to sleep but I don't want to be awake.

I suspect it's all because of him. But what if I'm just longing for something (someone) I really don't want? What if I'm just thinking of him because...I don't know, because he's the one at my reach right now?

I think of him the whole time, and that's all. I imagine him around, doing with me whatever I'm doing at the moment. I think I shouldn't be doing that. I really don't know if he has feelings for me. Our friends say this and that about us, his godmother (Karla) takes me for a daughter-in-law, the way he acts when I'm around, those weird signals...but still, I'm not taking anything for granted.

My thoughts are flooded with what-if's...?. What if he this, what if I that...what if we...what if it does, what if it doesn't...

Because of him, I feel prettier. Because of him, I don't get mad anymore. Because of him, I've remembered my fuck-ups (specially with a few boys). Because of him...I can't think of anything else.

.....except that Aerosmith will be on 20/20 in one hour, so I'd better go do some rituals before the show starts.

Just what I needed right now...the return of my leaders. They never fail.

Quoth two of our most famoust fellow Blue Army members:

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