Sunday, 12.11.2011 - 11:45 am.
Next sunday at this time, I'll be in line to board the plane that will take me home for Christmas and New Year's. I panic when I think I'll be traveling a whole night by bus (to Santiago) and then a whole day by plane...especially the plane part, I hate flying. A 24-hour journey to get home.
It'll be worth it, although at the moment I can only think of how this is my life now and I'm not sure I want to leave it, even if it's for a couple of weeks. I'm a grown-up, making my own money (by studying!) and living with the best man I could have ever wished for as a life partner. I refuse to give this up. Especially, I know that going home will mean living under my parents' laws and my dad will be all fatalistic about me stepping out of the house.
He told me, in these words, that it's best that I stay locked up the house while I'm visiting. While I'm very aware that my country isn't in the best situation and I don't feel like going out much or too far away, his comment drives me crazy. There he goes, trying to control me and being emotionally manipulative when I don't comply. Overprotection doesn't fit me at 26. I'll try to comply, for the sake of harmony and enjoying my limited time at home, but wish me luck on that.
I'm done with my Christmas/souvenir shopping, so I can dedicate this week to working on assignments and packing my bags. I hate leaving Andrew for the holidays but he'll spend them with his family, too. There'll be more to come for us, and we'll spend them together.
For Christmas, he bought me a pair of awesome, for they are nearly heel-less, black boots. I bought him a pair of sneakers, and I have the first book of Game of Thrones as a surprise gift before I leave. We can't have a Christmas tree thanks to our cats but he decorated the sliding door to the balcony with lights and it looks so pretty.
The day after I get to my family home (my home is with Andrew, too), I'll be presenting my book. I think. I'm supposed to get the invitation but nothing so far. I don't panic, I think one week to promote this event is plenty. Although if they told me it was cancelled, I wouldn't mind so much.
About the book: I got the digital copy and I was pleased, though to my surprise not all of my stories are there. I should've known that was going to happen, since it's a pocket book and I sent in a lot of content (plus some drawings). But I was surprised nonetheless. And a little heartbroken when I realized the strongest stories, the ones about Joseph, weren't there, except for one. And that one is more descriptive of my feelings than of what happened (I describe it almost literally in a single story that didn't make it, but there are pieces of what happened in others stories).
I thought it was a solid body of stories so I was sorry that not all of them were there. But very quickly, I shrugged it off: doesn't matter, got published. Doesn't matter, Joseph's not gonna read it anyway. Doesn't matter, those stories that were left unpublished will be published some other day.
This week I'll make a huge effort not to think of my long journey home. Nor to anticipate how being home after almost a year will be like. It only gets me nervous and I may start thinking of the worse. A part of me can't wait to be coming home to Andrew on January 5th, but if I've learned anything these years is that I've gotta live the present and not waste my time making these movies in my head.